Friday, January 20, 2006

I can't understand you when you mumble.....

Oh boy, this is probably gonna be a quick post. My sister slyly slipped out of the house this morning and told my mother that I would keep the baby without telling me. Not that I mind keeping my neice, I just like to know when I am.
I was peacefully sleeping when my mom said, "Are you watching Araia?"
Still asleep I said, "No."
"Well, Shauna said you were."
"She ain't tell me."

It just irks me when people ask stuff they already know. My mom gone look at the baby and say, "You wanna stay with Auntie?" and I looked at her and said, "You don't have a choice, do you?" Then later on my sister calls and asks, "Is Araia there?" and I said, "Did you leave her here?" Like Araia was just gonna walk out on her own or something.......Goodness! As you can tell I had an attitude because they woke me up. I hate that!

Yesterday, I made the plan that I was getting out of the house. Tired of wearing a white tee, jeans and a ponytail, I got up and did my hair. I even put on some make-up. You gotta make yourself look glamourous sometimes, even if you don't feel it. I took the baby with me to see my cousin at her hair salon. I love my cousin Farah. She's like the big sister I never had. A nice one. We had a conversation like we'd never had before. Almost like we were peers. She was still teaching but I learned more about her. She looked at me when I came in and said, "You're growing up." Lately I look in the mirror and see a different person too. Farah always sees straight through me though. Like to everything I'm hiding. She's the only one that can do that. We always talk about everything I've been thinking about and she tells me exactly what I need to hear. I feel like God uses her to tell me what I need to know because I'm hard headed and she's one person I listen to.

She wants me to be someone like she has to me for her daughter Jahari since Jahari is her oldest child she doesn't have too many young women to look up to. Farah has always told me I remind her of herself and Jahari reminds me of myself. For awhile now I've wondered if Jahari is thinking about some of things I was thinking about when I was her age and would she tell me?
She's what? Fourteen? Which I can't believe either because I can remember when she was a baby. I actually changed her diapers! Given I was like 7 or 8 but I still remember.

I always get these life lessons when I talk to Farah and I still have so many questions. Still learning about how everything works. And her advice was to pray. Pray. So simple and still difficult.

Oh yeah! Milyaka is coming down this weekend and she wants me to come back to Norman with her. I guess I will because I don't have a job right now. Even though I hate Norman, if I don't go now I won't ever get to go. She insists she won't be able to make it if I don't come and promises she'll treat me better than I did when she came to VA. I told her its time to get over that. I'm sure I'll be ok because I'm not a NEEDY friend. It doesn't take much to please me. Well, its not that she's needy, just dramatic. Change that, she is needy but only when it comes to me. I don't know why. Then the icing on the cake is my father's party on Saturday. I wonder what he's gonna be wearing. The horror!!!

So I finally got the baby to take a nap. Maybe now I can fit in a shower? Here's hoping.

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