heard that

I have a love/hate relationship with soul music. Its so deeply ingrained with sadness and the voices that sing it FEEL SO MUCH. You can't help but feel it. I grew up with this music and took to it quickly with vigor. Attached to that came the depression of the music. It speaks so badly of love. Love hurts, love don't love me, love seems to hate us. No wonder I've been commitment phobic, self-destructive and evasive. If you were to listen to some of my old mix CD's you'd think I was depressed and you'd be RIGHT. Why in the world was I depressed at 11 and 12 years old? How could I ever identify with any of this music and never experienced any type of love. There was a longing it, an ache you heard. It was good at first then turned for the worst. This music shaped my perception of love. And I thought I was a romantic.


These people don't know what love is.

I'm Dreamy

So, a co-worker says to me,"Why you so SERIOUS? Sometimes you be looking like you wanna slap me." I should have said, MAN I'm FOCUSED! But instead I said, I dunno... Its not like I don't have a silly side. Not everyone gets to see that. But when I'm at work, I'm working. That's why its called work. And I like my job so I'm constantly thinking of how to make things better. Plus I got lots of other things running through my mind. Making a lotta plans right now. Thinking so much!! I need a vacation. Anybody up for a cruise?

oh memories!!

Y'all ever got whipped with a switch? I don't know why this came to my mind today. I was just wondering if this was a country thing? Black people thing? Iono. And remember you had to get your OWN switch? And if you ain't pick out a good one then you had a get another one. My grandma had a really good switch bush. You tear the switch off, wrap your hand around the branch and go from the bottom to the top. Get all the leaves off that way.

Now somebody tell me why its called a switch? Because it could switch a bad attitude to a good one? Cus it changed from a tree branch to a device of disciplinary action in mere seconds?

I guess I started thinking bout this because I been thinking about kids lately. How to raise em. It might just be time to bring back the switch. I think I'll plant a switch bush just in case......

Its's gotta be something

One more week until the end of my fast and its not getting easier. The other day I was just thinking, I wanna quit. But I feel like this is the time where breakthrough is at the door. Today at work out of nowhere I was asked a series of questions about God and Jesus. Out of nowhere. I feel like if I was preparing for this moment, then it was worth it. I pray that I answered correctly. And I told them if only I just give you what I feel. Is there a way? People are sooo on guard about God and mention Jesus...oh its all over.

Basically we had a nearly intense conversation about witnessing and telling people about the Lord. How do you know truth is truth? How do you convince someone else about the truth? I believe God does give us opportunities to witness, but everyday should be a silent witness.

Everyday I'm learning. God is an awesome Teacher.