What keeps me going

There are somethings I will miss about my current position. Although they may be few, they have kept me going.

1. My customers are THE best. I've been in retail for almost 6 years now and I've never had customers that I've connected to in this way. They are considerate, funny, interesting and we've shared quite a bit of time together. I'm even considering inviting all of my regulars to a farewell dinner once I find out my start date.

2. Seeing the new stuff come in before everyone else. There's something about getting that exclusive look.

3. The discount of course. It's a gift and a curse. You know why.

4. And oh yeah it's my only source of  exercise. I think I walk about 3 miles a day (No lie). All the lifting and bending and such. I guess I'ma have to find me a gym...

Single life

So I feel like I'm getting prepared. I'm in training and everything is a lesson. I'm taking notes. I'm listening close and I'm getting chastised for my mistakes. This is what the Lord has been showing me.

Don't waste your time. God is purposeful and everything should be used especially your time. People are important and should be treated as such. Respect people and their feelings. Know your boundaries and what you will and won't accept. Know why you're doing things. Pay attention to your connections and what they are to teach you. Be careful who you connect yourself and your purpose to. Push past your limitations. Pray about everything. Reach for your goals and achieve them. 

Looking back

Here's a list of the things I will not miss about my current job.

1. Working nights and weekends- This is when everybody does stuff. I'm not completely anti-social. I'm not extremely non-committal. I just have to work every time people plan stuff and everyone else is off.

2.The temptation- I work in my favorite clothing store, therefore I love everything that comes in. It's putting a dent in my bank account. I gotta move into a bigger apt to fit all my clothes.

3. Being on my feet all day- Although working there has been an everyday work out, I will be ok with starting at a gym.

4. Listening to music that I didn't request- There are some songs on the playlist that I really detest. (that rhymes lol!)

5. Cleaning up a place more than I clean my apt. - People are nasty.

6. Waiting for a relief person in order to leave- Some people just can't be on time.

7. Being asked to ask the same questions again and again

8. If I had a nemesis, her name would be M____ She ALWAYS comes in with a return.

9. People who don't know how to read their receipts or store marketing.

10. People who don't want to come to work.

In my opinion

There's an associate that works with me who whenever given an opportunity takes that time to insult herself. We work in a clothing store and she has a curvier shape than most women. But it seems she has to point to that fact at once a day when I work with her. For example: She said, "If I could wear pencil skirts, I would totally be all over that." But what bothers me is when she will compliment me to insult herself.

I was in the store just yesterday and a customer was asking  me about my hair. What products I use and how I got the result I'd gotten with rollers. She pipes up and says, "Yeah we pretty much hate her because her hair always looks great."  No one was even talking to her! Now when people say these types of things I start to think there really is some hate beneath the surface. And this is not the first or the second time she's done this : 'Yeah we pretty much hate her' stuff.

I just can't get with the self deprecating speech and sometimes I want to take her to the side and say "You are fearfully and wonderfully made and the way you talk about yourself should reflect that." I think that's something I will do. Write her a note or something. It just stems from a lack of self esteem. I've been there before and everyone just has to become comfortable with who they are and what they are not.

I remember watching a Tamara Bennett message and she said," There is not a worldly woman that I covet and truth be told not ANY woman I covet." And pretty much she was saying its because she knows who God created her to be. I feel the same way. There's no need in being upset over something that I just was not meant to be or have, but I am determined to be and have all that God has for me.

In saying all that, maybe we just need to lift each other up with pure motives more. Tiff and I were talking last night and we mentioned that when people give us compliments we still are not always able to accept it in its purest form. It almost always comes with someway to downplay it afterward.

Them :Oh girl I love your hair!!

Me: Oh this? I did this a week ago, its dirty and my color needs to be re-done, but thank you!

Just accept the compliment, please. Message to you and me.

What did you say?

So I just finished reading a blog AND almost all the comments from the Very Smart Brothas blog called Why Compliments are a Man's Kryptonite and it made me take a long look at myself. (Warning there is language). Well, I can remember telling my girl Tiff that I just don't give men compliments because I don't like to blow up their heads. They become all conceited and you can't tell them anything and in turn you get treated like trash because they think they're so much better than you. She lectured me about this and told me I gotta do better. Then when a guy I liked came over to our apt I remember mumbling "I like your shoes." His face lit up. I looked at Tiff like 'Are you happy now?'

While I can say this is probably still true. I don't see myself being a overt compliment giver... to men. And just like the blog states women fawn all over each right when we see each other. I almost feel it is a compulsion to give my friends compliments and I feel bad if I can't find something. But for men. Well I don't want them getting the wrong idea and also as perpetuated by the blog, my theory is correct. So I think I'll keep my deck stacked and play my cards right. However, if I ever want to make a man putty in my hands, I now know how to do it.

And I have heard that is the trick of the game from older married women. Make sure you stroke a mans ego from time to time. You're so strong! I could never do that! You're so smart! How did you figure that out? You smell wonderful! What cologne is that? But be careful with your arsenal ladies. You can end up attracting attention you can't get rid of.

And in the same token, don't think just because I compliment you don't think its because I want you (men). I want to become better at exhortation. It's never been my thing. But I don't want it to be misinterpreted as flirting. So we'll just see how this turns out.

I'm a waiting child

So the cats out of the bag. I am without a 12 group or leader and have been so since my last leader moved out of town. Now for those of you who don't know my church functions through discipleship groups. Every one has a leader and is in a group from my pastor to all the teens. Or they should be. It comes from the great commission in Matthew 28:19 where Jesus said go into all the world and make disciples. Well it starts at home.

Anyway, this next leader will be the 4th group I have been in. I guess I'd been tired. I made all the excuses and they were good ones too. For example, I just don't want to jump in any group just to say 'I'm in a group'. It's like finding a new family and that's not to be taken lightly. As well as this is a people group who will pour into your life which also is not to be taken lightly.

Plus, I am a person who is committed. Once I become invested in a thing I'm all in. I really didn't feel like visiting people's groups and for a lack of a better word putting myself out there. It's like dating. I don't want to lead anyone on. I want to feel a good connection. And I've never been able to be a real player. Once I like a person, I'm not thinking about anyone else.

And this morning while reading my Word I came across this verse in Psalms 68:6 God sets the lonely in families.

So I'm trusting you Lord and I know you will place me in the right family.

Practice doesn't make perfect

So I follow a match maker on Twitter named Paul C Brunson. He put out this summer challenge to ask out 10 people in a month's time. Well while I would never do that it did seem like an interesting way to meet people. Well one night while talking with my friends one of them confessed that she has never been comfortable around men or on a date. So we decided to take on the challenge for one night. We would go out and find guys to take bowling.

I don't ask guys out. I'm pretty traditional in that sense. The other reason I don't ask guys out is I was really shy around guys for years. Until I got to college and like a butterfly from a cocoon, I decided it was time to spread my wings. However, my new found confidence didn't keep me from being nervous about this challenge.

So we went out with a mission...and found nothing. We didn't even talk to one guy. But I went with a willing heart and I think that's saying something. What? I'm not all that sure yet. The whole thing was mainly to get my friend out of her comfort zone with the male species. But who knows, maybe the reason we didn't find anyone was because we went looking. *message*

It was fun while it lasted.