What season are you in?

Had an interesting convo on the way to church and just so happened to be in a "carpool". Not really sure how it came up, but the guy driving began to go into how males at church see me. Oh yeah, I remember. He asked us ladies in the car if men in church approach us. I said, nope sure don't. Then he began to explain his perception of the matter. I think this is the gist (or at least what I heard) :

- You're unapproachable (because you have a "don't talk to me" look)

- unavailable because you're barely at church

- unavailable because you're always at work.

- You're not cordial

- Not conversational, very straight to the point

He said a man would look at you and assume you're either married or you're taken. You have a regal stance about you. But it just depends on what season you're in and if thats not what you're looking for then just keep doing what you're doing.

Well, all this may very well be true. I tried my very best not to be offended by these statements. And I took them and thought about them. I think it looks to them like I'm not giving anyone of them the time of day because frankly, I don't think they are worth my time.

Why even flirt if I'm not interested?

So, yeah of course I want to be married. But I'm not inviting all and any advances. To me, thats just a waste of time. Should I apologize for my security? I refuse.

He mentioned that a man may watch a woman for a couple months before he approaches her. Well if a man has watched me for that long and feels like I'm not worth talking to, then I don't think I want him to. And if he does try to contact me and I don't make myself available, trust me its for a reason.

Because I don't want to talk to you.

I cannot come down to appease someones insecurity. If they can't even approach me to have a conversation and find out how I really am then its just not meant to be. If he can't even approach me then why would I want him to run my household? And if we have a conversation and there's no chemistry, then I'm just done. Don't waste my time and I won't waste yours.

I thank God for keeping me all this time and the encouragement I get daily is great. However, I'm human and I think when, when will it be my turn?

And needless to say, this guy who brought up this conversation is not one I would even consider. Nor have I seen anyone I would consider in that church. Which probably is the reason for my demeanor. But it is something to think about.

I almost get tired of the stats. This percentage of this. This number of that. I'm over it. But, still optimistic :) .

I'm sure of the kind of man that will keep my attention and until then I'm cool.

Hypocrite

So I've been thinking and its been going on for a while now. It kinda started when I sat in on the youth bible study. My jaw dropped open when they began to tell us things they would see on a daily basis. Kids having sex in hallways because they figure what's the point in hiding it? I asked, so what do you do? They said, ignore it. One, thank God said I pray for em.

Most of these kids have been in church all their lives. Most of em look like they've been dragged there. But yet they know the right responses to give. What to put on their social network pages. They know what to tell their parents. They know how to hide their dirt better than most adults.

So, I began to wonder: Are we raising hypocrites? I mean not me technically since I'm not a parent. But I have cousins and lil ones under me. What deception is telling them its ok to live a double life? One thing is clear: they don't feel like they have to choose. They can have their Nikki Menage and their Kirk Franklin. Their club on Saturday and church on Sunday. Joshua 24:15 says:

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Matthew 16:24

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."

Who is teaching these people? And do they even care? It's just disheartening and scary. Because if there's no compassion, they will do anything. They are our future and they have no regard or respect. No fear of the Lord.

Now Proverbs 22:6 says Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Did we train them for this? How do you even begin to raise a sincere and caring person? I guess it begins with being one in conjunction with prayer.

I know I'm not the easiest leader to be under, but I walk my walk. I'm not perfect by any means, but I honestly want and try to live right. I just wonder when we will stop raising people who want to blend in or follow whats hot right now or who are just plain selfish and start raising people who want to live for the kingdom.