What is your gift?

I was having a conversation with my friend the other day about what we want to do with the rest of our lives. We were talking about the career goals we have. I said, “I can do a lot it’s just whether I want to use my gifts or not.” I received my degree in marketing and I am still very intrigued with business. And she said, “I thought you wanted to design.” I just don’t know if I want to have to create something on schedule. I do draw. I’ve even considered going to design school. I also sing, but I don’t wanna be a singer. She asked this thought provoking question: Do gifts have to be used where they are seen? So I decided to ponder this question for myself because I don’t know any of y’all.

Well my personal view on gifts is that they should be used to glorify the Lord and not ourselves. That’s one of the reasons I’ve never wanted to be famous. I know many people who can sing and then are asked, ‘Why aren’t you on the praise team or choir?’ myself included. Don’t get me wrong, I love to sing and I love music. But does everyone need to hear me? I have a friend who is wonderfully anointed at leading praise and worship, but I think that may be all people would see when they look at her. I think people get tired of being exploited for their gifts. But that’s not my case.

I’ve never really taken the time to develop the natural gifts I have. I just simply do…or don’t. Now the Bible says to use your gifts to help others. I know this because I just looked it up. 1 Peter 4:10. Sidebar: I wonder if celebrities think they are helping others…then again that may not be their motivation.

Back to me: Perhaps I simply want to sing for my own enjoyment or just as worship. Or dance in my living room. How worse off would the world be if we had never heard or seen Michael Jackson? I guess we would never know. It’s almost like that ‘if a tree falls and no one is around to hear it’ riddle. You still have a gift, whether people know it or not. I think what is important is that the right people get to see it. Those who you are supposed to help achieve their next level should experience your gifting. At the end of the day we are all people who want to be special and unique. Just because your gift isn’t on a stage doesn’t mean it’s not special.

Ready for the Weekend

I'm really not though. Because the weekends are not weekends for me. I'm never off and it will be a while until I do have a real weekend off. Two of our lower managers have put in their notice. Which equates to more work for me. I'm off tomorrow but I just know I will be receiving a phone call. Those are the breaks.

And now I'm looking forward to a real grown up move. Buying a house! And for some reason I never really planned for this, but its happening. Just like graduating from college. Its kind of just the natural progression. I am looking forward to decorating a whole house. Even though I've never been the decorator type. Thats more my mom and sister. I have a fashion, but interior decorating is a whole other genre.

this new sleep schedule

Sometime somewhere I got used to staying up late and now I can't go to sleep before 1am. Yet I can't do anything productive while I'm up because I just know I should be asleep.

Back to the grind....

My vacation is officially over. Back to working every weekend, dealing with some range of craziness and resisting the daily temptation of shopping at my store. I just realized that I'm probably one of those people I get mad at for not answering the phone or returning phone calls. There a few that I have yet to return today. Whoops.... But this is why. I don't like talking on the phone when I'm in the car with people or at someone's house. I also don't like calling people I want to talk to when I know I'm not going to have enough time to actually talk to them. And there is the occasional case of forgetfulness.... ah well.

Back to work now. I found out today that I have a new assignment starting as soon as I get back. I really have to tighten up my organizational skills. Perhaps that will be my reason to blog. I think I mascaraed as a person who is organized but I'm not really. I want to be organized to the point where people can pick up where I left off and not be lost. Where I know how to time things out and do them efficiently. Where does that begin? Its all in preparation. So I think I'm good for starting out even thinking about this. Now I gotta put this into practice.

Randomly, this night owl thing is starting to get old for me. I like to be up early. I know I'll get more things done if I start early, but I never do get up. Sleep almost always takes priority. And I really don't like to be rushed getting dressed even though I don't take very long. Then I wait too long to leave the house because I like my house and I just don't want to leave.

Well that was therapeutic! The first step to recovery is admitting to the world you have a problem. And if you can't tell, I do have a problem. Think healing thoughts and pray for my recovery.

Goodbye's

Its funny how you don't realize how much you mean to peoples daily routine until you leave. I don't know how many times I've been told, 'Don't leave' in the past week.

I feel extremely loved...

Black Women Unmarried?

I recently saw a Nightline interview with four successful black women between the ages of 26-31. The subject of the investigation was how these women may never marry for a number of reasons in America. Perhaps we should all move to Africa where there’s no shortage of Black men. Apparently all our men in America are either in jail, uneducated or unemployed. After you get rid of those undesirables there are only 54% of black males left to choose from and they just so happened to leave out homosexuals. So now we’re like at maybe 35% or less.

You know what? I apologize for my sarcasm because I was very conflicted while watching this segment. At first I was kind of in shock. I could see every one of my friends in the video. Then I was angry: what are they trying to prove? What is the purpose and what is the solution? As Steve Harvey pops into the picture as the latest genius of relationships, he says they should date older men.

I think we all have something in common, that we are not willing to settle for the sake of having the title MRS. In fact I know women who DO settle and still aren’t married. Tell me what to do different. I’m not sure I would do it but it would have given more credibility to making this segment seem like it was meant to inform rather than discourage. It made black women seem as if we are at the bottom of the totem pole so to speak. Like men have their choice of women and a black woman would be their LAST choice. Also they pointed out that perhaps our problem is that we actually want to marry black men.

But Nightline if no one wants us, what do we do? Do we lose all hope for marital bliss? And not to mention that getting married is NOT the same as staying married. Well I'm a Believer and I know the devil is a liar. So I think if the devil would want us to be depressed and discouraged this would be just the angle to use. WhatI choose to do is trust in the Lord and make sure I am prepared when the time does come as it WILL. Just mark my words, I'm so confident in the what I speak I leave no room for doubt.

New Beginnings

Well to start this post off I have to give a little background information, so that you're able to follow whenever I talk on the subject. At my church we follow what is called the vision of 12. It just does exactly what Jesus did and is based on the Great Commission "go into all the world and make disciples". So in following that commission every is expected to have a cell group we call our 12. I am in a 12 and I have a 12.

Well I have one and it took me 3 yrs to get that one. Last night I realized just how much of a responsibility it was to have that one. I mean I think I realized it years ago which is why it took me so long to even open myself up to having person in my group. And I have heard people call their groups their spiritual sons or daughters, but I didn't think.......Wow, it just hit me last night that I feel like a mother. Never did I realize that I would be raising a 20 yr old, but she is also a baby in Christ. To take her through the steps of spiritual growth is so eye-opening. I am constantly thinking back to where I was at her age. Six years doesn't seem like a huge gap, but we are like eons apart. I've been told I'm even mature for my age so that like doubles the age difference.

She is totally a blessing to me. Thank God that she actually listens and values my opinion. Not only that she is concerned and cares for me. Although it has taken us a while to get to a place of complete trust and openness which is to be expected I am so honored that God has trusted me with such a precious gift. Now I understand how a parent feels. I'm proud when she does well, I discipline when needed, I love at all times. Wow...Its amazing.