How to get and keep your man

I think the magazine industry is making a killing off of confused women who just want to be in a healthy relationship. They tell all these ways to find and supposedly keep a man. Some tell you men love confidence, others tell you to be domicile. However talking to a couple of my friends who have recently seen their relationships go down the drain without them ever doing anything wrong has me asking some questions. What is going on with the men in America? I can only say America because this is the only place I've lived. My experience is very limited but I live vicariously through others. And as far as I'm concerned I'd rather not date at all. I just need someone who interests me spiritually, intellectually and physically enough to not be bored after a month. I say just as if thats so simple. Apparently its not. And my experience in Oklahoma is that black men here don't really date black women. Its very rare to see a black couple. I am an equal opportunity dater but black men are my preference. I may have to move just to get married.

Anywho, back to my questions.... It seems as if we women have gotten selfish. We've gotten ourselves together financially and regained our confidence taught our children to have girl power. We've demanded our respect and raised entire families by ourselves. We've had movements and achieved great accomplishments, but have we left our men behind? They don't know what they want. The men haven't learned how to lead a household, make decisions or become husbands. What we have allowed them to do is perpetuate this fight or flight mentality. Wherein they will either stay in a situation suffering without voicing how they're feeling, leaving the situation mentally. Often there is the case where the men abandon the conflict physically by disappearing. Then there are those who cause fights in order have a reason to leave altogether.

In every circumstance there are the exceptions to the rule. I don't have a lot of experience with these but I believe they are out there and I pray my husband is one of these. So maybe the men need to have a movement of their own. I don't think it will be anything like ours but it needs to be one where they realize the value of decision making and commitment. Either their expectations have somehow gotten twisted into some type of fantasy or women have allowed them to be complacent by accepting whatever is given to us. And in the cases when we are not given what we need, we take on the Superwoman persona and tell ourselves and everyone else that we can handle everything.

This is all out of order. Everyone ends up heart broken. The men continue to wander aimlessly and women wonder whats wrong with me?