Really now?

A couple days ago I read an article clearly written by someone who was hurt by and bitter against the church. It was entitled How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely. There were so many things in that article that were against the Word that it makes my head spin, mostly due to the fact that this woman is not a Christian. That makes me wonder why wrote the article at all. There are standards that we live by and they are biblical.

So I guess you can call this my critique of the article. First of all, if you are attending a church and finding a husband there is one of your top reasons for going you’re on the wrong track. You go to church for instruction, motivation, alignment, fellowship and most importantly worship. Church is not a dating service. I’m sure many people have met their mates at church because, well there’s a common interest there. Why not? It’s just like someone who meets someone at work or the gym. Common interest. Whereas you may not necessarily go there looking for someone, you may just end up meeting them there. Secondly, I do believe that if that is your reason for going to a church then yes you will end up depressed because you’re missing the point. That’s like eating an apple and expecting it to taste like a banana. You will definitely be disappointed.

I believe this is the reason Paul said I would rather you were able to be single like me because your interests are divided. People get so distracted trying to catch someone they’re not able to do the work of the kingdom. That’s why people don’t care about the world that is dying and hungry. Too busy trying to look for someone to ‘complete’ them. God is the complete you. Your husband or wife is not the missing link. They are an added bonus. Talk to a married couple and let them tell you. You can still feel lonely with someone lying next to you.

Finally, I’m getting to the last straw of people trying to figure out why there are so many unmarried Black women. If its not our fault it’s the Black man’s fault or the church’s fault or White women’s fault. I really don’t care who’s fault it is. When it comes down to it all I can do is be who I am supposed be. What I care about is if my life is pleasing to God. And I stand on the Word that says God knows the desires of my heart and if I continue to be diligent that I will receive those things and more.

ya kno?

So I was on facebook and a 'friend' of mine posted a youtube video where a singer was talking about Christians singing secular music. This friend and I have had this discussion many times before. Mainly because he wants to sing and he doesn't under any circumstance want to sing gospel. My question is why not? His is answer is that he wants to sing love songs. Is that sooo wrong? I try not to get all caught up with peoples' perceptions of right and wrong. My conviction comes from the Word and the Holy Spirit. But what I told him is that if you love the Lord, why wouldn't you want to worship? And for me secular music just doesn't help me get from day to day. Those are just some things I don't think about on a daily basis and I LOVE music.

Now on this particular youtube video the singer used the book Songs of Solomon as his reasoning for God being just fine with love songs. Well, as far as I know Solomon was married when he talked about his beloved and his lover. I'm not married. To be honest, I have a hard time reading Songs of Solomon. But I know whats in there and its beautiful. I'm sure when I get married I'll be reading it all the time. Same goes for love songs. I'm not gonna meditate on someone singing about their love for their spouse (if they're married) or their lust for someone else (if they're not). While on the subject of Solomon, if we're using him as an example: wasn't he the one that had all these other wives that turned his heart after other gods? I mean what was he meditating on? I'm just sayin.

I remember I used to be OK with listening to secular music because I was really trying to appreciate the musicality of it all. Then music got stupid and untalented. Now even when I try to go back to my old favs its just not the same. You almost gotta decipher where they're coming from. Artists can be really out there sometimes. And it may not be somewhere you wanna be. For instance I just heard one of my old favorite artists call God a she. I just don't believe that. How can I bypass that and listen to it anyway? I tried and then I just couldn't.

Now I'm not gonna say anyone is wrong or cool for listening to secular music. I'm saying how does it help you? And if you're a Christian, how does it help you stay saved? Now this particular artist in no way convinced me to pull out my old Jill Scott and start bumpin it 24/7. I gotta keep my mind clear. Nor will I condemn anyone if thats what they want to listen to. But I do feel like that music doesn't help me grow spiritually. Yeah, I can totally get with Jill sometimes. She talks about some real stuff. And sometimes I just really can't.

So in conclusion because I could go on all day, I think of this verse Faith comes by hearing, and by hearing the Word of God Romans 10:17. Whatever you are hearing and hearing will become what you believe in.

rotten

I think about how spoiled we are these days. My air has gone hay-wire and the upstairs of my apt is like a gym. I got in the car this morning and blasted the air. Looking at Milyaka I said, "Remember when people were used to sweating?" Granted, I don't think it was triple digit weather back then. But today we go from air conditioned room to air conditioned room and can't stand being in the heat for 2 minutes. I thank God for technology, but its made us very spoiled.

We feel so entitled to have things. Talking to a friend about why certain things aren't happening in his life despite his hard working efforts made me realize that he felt like some things should just fall into place. An A for effort. But in reality, you don't just get an A for the effort. You get an A when you have prepared and effectively put the answers in the right place.

I was just talking to Milyaka last night about this same thing and she made it more concrete for me. She said, "People think being spoiled is material and getting everything you want in gifts. But really its thinking that you are owed what you want." I've just began to realize that this is an ultimate source of unhappiness. Its like we have forgotten that we come into the world with nothing and everyone has to work for what they have. Whether that means putting your foot to the grindstone, having difficult conversations that you don't really want to have or sacrificing what you want in order to show someone else love.

For us Christians its like we forgot the Word says, "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all." I believe thats in Job. I'll look it up.... Hold on......Ok here it is...I was wrong its Psalms 34:19. Anyway, the part we seem to concentrate on are the afflictions. Not that we are righteous, nor that God delivers us out of them all. And you know what? When stop you stop feeling so entitled, you begin feeling grateful and thats when you begin to see things fall into place.

just a thought

I met a guy once on the plane from VA to Memphis. I remembering seeing him in the airport. I'm not sure who started the convo, but me knowing me I'm pretty sure he did. He told me he was going to visit his girlfriend and so we didn't get any of each others information. I just remember that was a great conversation because I don't talk to strangers on planes. From time to time I just think about him.

admission

I....am.... a product junkie. I will be glad when I actually finish a jar of something other than conditioner. But I can hardly contain myself from trying new ones. I saw yesterday that Trade Secret was having a half off sale. It's sad. So I'm sitting here watching One Tree Hill and I'm about to do my hair so I'm trying to use 2 or 3 things at once.