From what I'm told, I don't "look" my age. But honestly, I don't think people know what people my age look like. I think they're expecting something else. Anywho, I looked up one day and all of my close friends are 4+ years younger than I am. This is fine because I don’t think I look like the odd older chick trying to stay relevant with the kids.
Plus we are in the same stage of life; Single, post-college career women with no children. However, they are not as far removed from college as I am. It’s OK for them to have friends in college and date college age men. Not so much for me. I guess my question is: Where are my peers? And more importantly: where are the men my age?
They all can't be married with children.... Although most of my classmates I know are. As far as age is concerned I don't see myself going much younger than 24-25 or older than 33. I've read about women dating younger men. Does it really work? I don't really know any in real life. My dad is 3 years younger than my mom and that didn't end well. But in my eyes my dad is probably younger than I am....so that doesn't say much for older men either. Hm.
Welp. I'm sure folks would say don't concentrate too much on age, it’s all about maturity. Kinda like in the retail world we would tell women it’s not about the size of the dress, but about the fit. This is totally true. Some women won't even try on a bigger size because of the number in it. Because it represents something they never wanted to identify with themselves. But what they fail to realize is that companies manufacture things differently. An ill-fitting garment can look worse than if you had just gone up a size. I hope that metaphor came across well. I said all that to say, it’s not about the number. However, that doesn't mean it’s going to feel comfortable.
I can't see myself dating a 22 year old. But I would be willing to go for it once just to prove myself right.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Short end of the stick
To put the issue to bed once and for all, I'm writing a response to a twitter discussion that involved quite a few people I know. A question sparked it all: As a tall woman, would you date a short man?
My response is no. It’s not for me. My reasoning? I'm simply not attracted to shorter men. There is not one shorter man than I could have seen myself being in a relationship with. Nor do I care to. The men involved in the discussion began to ask, 'You would turn down a perfectly good man just because of height?' To me that’s like asking a man, 'You would turn down a perfectly good woman because she's light skinned or flat chested or thick?' A question of prejudice? A matter of preference or is it a requirement? Whatever it may be, there's no changing my mind.
Now some of my tall sisters brought up being able to feel secure if their man is taller than them. And some said that it was the men that became insecure dating a taller woman. But while I was writing this I began to wonder, am I secure enough to date a short man? The answer is a swift and quick: NO. And that's not something I'm interested in building up my self esteem to do. Especially when I don't have to.
I am above average for a woman standing 5 feet 8 inches tall. I am taller than most men I come across especially with my heels on and I ain't stepping off my stilettos for nobody. I prefer my men to be taller. No, I'm not saying that just because you're tall that I will be interested. That's simply the first step. Now am I cutting myself off from a sea of men because of their height? Am I doomed to be single because I don't want to be able to put my arm around my man’s shoulders? Well if you think those are the consequences, just know that I thirst for no man and refuse to settle just to have one. I read that God will provide the desires of my heart if I delight myself in Him. Trust me, I'm delighted.
Matchmaker Paul C. Brunson says height is what most women he comes across site as a ’non-starter'. Or something that automatically cuts a man from their dating pool. He mentions that there are on 14% of the male population that are over 6 ft tall. He obviously feels that in the world of matchmaking women are selling themselves short (no pun intended). However, I feel that 14% is more than enough for me. I only need ONE. I tend to look on the bright side of things.
Therefore I don't believe I'm missing out just because of my preference (requirement). I am simply aware of what I like.
My response is no. It’s not for me. My reasoning? I'm simply not attracted to shorter men. There is not one shorter man than I could have seen myself being in a relationship with. Nor do I care to. The men involved in the discussion began to ask, 'You would turn down a perfectly good man just because of height?' To me that’s like asking a man, 'You would turn down a perfectly good woman because she's light skinned or flat chested or thick?' A question of prejudice? A matter of preference or is it a requirement? Whatever it may be, there's no changing my mind.
Now some of my tall sisters brought up being able to feel secure if their man is taller than them. And some said that it was the men that became insecure dating a taller woman. But while I was writing this I began to wonder, am I secure enough to date a short man? The answer is a swift and quick: NO. And that's not something I'm interested in building up my self esteem to do. Especially when I don't have to.
I am above average for a woman standing 5 feet 8 inches tall. I am taller than most men I come across especially with my heels on and I ain't stepping off my stilettos for nobody. I prefer my men to be taller. No, I'm not saying that just because you're tall that I will be interested. That's simply the first step. Now am I cutting myself off from a sea of men because of their height? Am I doomed to be single because I don't want to be able to put my arm around my man’s shoulders? Well if you think those are the consequences, just know that I thirst for no man and refuse to settle just to have one. I read that God will provide the desires of my heart if I delight myself in Him. Trust me, I'm delighted.
Matchmaker Paul C. Brunson says height is what most women he comes across site as a ’non-starter'. Or something that automatically cuts a man from their dating pool. He mentions that there are on 14% of the male population that are over 6 ft tall. He obviously feels that in the world of matchmaking women are selling themselves short (no pun intended). However, I feel that 14% is more than enough for me. I only need ONE. I tend to look on the bright side of things.
Therefore I don't believe I'm missing out just because of my preference (requirement). I am simply aware of what I like.
Thursday, September 08, 2011
A house is not a home....
...... until you decorate it and put pictures up.
People like to think because I like fashion and know how to put an outfit together that somehow that equates to interior decoration. Not so much. It takes more of a commitment to put a room together than it does to put an outfit together. I mean you’re gonna look at that room day after day. If I don’t like my outfit I can tweak here and or change it all together because well I’ve got lots of clothes. However, I don’t have lots of furniture and drapery to interchange. So whatever I decide on has to stick.
I just moved into a new apt. I said I didn’t decorate my last apt because I didn’t like it. Truth is I didn’t really like it and I’m not that good at it. But I promised in this upgrade of an apt that I would get my grown woman on and actually put pictures on the wall. Right now I’m still in the concept and color picking stage but at least I’m thinking about it.
This speaks to other areas of my life. I’m a lil commitment phobic. It’s probably the reason why I’m not in a relationship and why I’ve never gotten a tattoo. Stability is a foreign concept to me. I admire it, but have not really experienced it firsthand. Being a child of divorce and having moved around quite a bit in my early years has given me the itch to change things every two years. My pastor said just last night that you have to change the script you’ve been given in life. I believe recognizing there’s an issue is the first step.
I would love to be at a job for 10 years. Not because I have to, but because I love it. There’s a reason my blog is called Where do we go from here. I’m constantly asking what the next step is. So this house decorating is all in preparation for the next step. And I’m getting rid of my phobia and settling in. Not only to help with my commitment issues, but also because my family is tired of helping me move.
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