So ready to go!!!

Amel Larriuex~For Real

Talk about folks comin outta the woodwork! I recieved a voice mail from another guy I knew in high school. This one I actually knew. He was actually my first real kiss. Larry, my roomate says he still asks about me everytime he sees him.( Once you get a taste of this sweet lip....OOO0-WEEE!) I returned his phone call and we actually had a pretty cool conversation. He's not as corny as I thought he was last time I saw him. He gave me some insight into how I used to be in high school. Turns out from some peoples' perspective I was anti-social and unapproachable.......Hmmm. I wasn't what I would call a social butterfly but I wouldn't say anti-social.

I found this very funny, but it could be true. I didn't talk to many people. I was involved in a few extracurricular activities but not many. Anyway turns out he's gonna be in D.C. for the summer. I guess I'll see how he is when he comes to visit.


I had been talking to Chris everyday until recently. I believe I offended him. I'm sorry Chris if I offended you. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. In fact, I didn't say much of what I really intended to say. There was so much more, but I promise it was better. I just wanted you to know what I was going through and usually when I try to explain my feelings it doesn't come out right which is why I usually keep my mouth shut. But I would like to hear what you have to say and have a chance to explain myself and clear things up. So I'll just wait till you're ready to talk.

I will say talking to him everyday was helping in the detox process. I enjoy our lil bickering and banter.

Oh yeah, 8 days and still counting. I'm ready to get out of town. I'm getting more irritated by the minute. Running is my new hobby. At least I'm doing something active rather than sitting around the house getting zombified.

The more time I spend with my niece I realize what a blessing children are........... and how I could not be a mother right now at this point and time in my life. I tried to imagine myself with a child and I don't know if I would be able to make it. I know myself and I would not want to be living in my mother's house with my child. I would want to be in my own place. I would appreciate the help, but its one more thing that would make me feel stuck. My niece is my birth control. She keeps me in line. Thank God for nieces!!

All you Star Wars Geeks!

Mike Jones~Back Then



I didn't write about that "date" I had with old dude. Crash is a great movie. Makes you think. Plus it had like everybody and their mama in there. Black and White. I don't know if I should say what its about because no one told me, I just went and saw it and I loved it. But its a wake up call, that's all Ima say.


I still say old dude has no chance. He wants me to move to Texas so I can be with him and I'm like why? He acts as if we had a love so deep and then we got torn apart when I went to college. Definitely not the case. Sorry buddy. I'm tryin not to be insensitive to his feelings so Ima have to tell him we just need to be homies. Why do I even care? I'll probably never see him again after I leave Tulsa.


I see just about everyone I know is hoppin on this Star Wars Band Wagon. Yes I call you all GEEKS! GEEKS! I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies. They might be aight. But hey I ain't finna start now....


The job hunt continues. Still haven't seen my degree but I know its on the way. Two more weeks left in Tulsa, OK.

Dear Christopher.......

This is Christopher. Aren't we cute? He just mentioned to me how he feels slighted in that he has never been mentioned directly in my blog. Hmmm, well I hate to disappoint anyone so this is for you Chris.


Well, me and Chris used to talk. We don't anymore. He said that he couldn't see us going out due to my communication issues and some other things he won't tell me about. Seeing as how I hate folks in my business I never put that out there. I didn't feel like answering any questions about who's that? Or are y'all together? Plus I didn't wanna get excessive about this guy I liked. Y'all woulda gotten tired of hearing mushy stuff and knowing he'd read this I didn't wanna write about stuff I hadn't already told him yet.

Looking back, it probably woulda been easier for me to go ahead and write about it first then.....Nah he woulda said why didn't you come to me first instead of putting it on the internet. Right, Chris?

Anyways, he was the one that came over that night for late night spaghetti, I nearly molested him during Senior Ball and the Pink Panties Night and I went to a party at his house and never wrote about it because he didn't dance with me once and I was mad about that. But I never mentioned it to him and I got over it soon after so there was no point in mentioning that. I had an OK time at the party but it wasn't the greatest ever.

There was a point where we had stopped talking and I said he's out of my life. Then I said I was sad. He knew that was about him but for some reason he took offense. I think its because of the song that was with that post. Lil Kim's No Time. That wasn't about you Chris.

There was also a post where I wrote I was supposed to go on a date and it didn't happen. That was Chris.

He wasn't at the co-ed sleepover so he wasn't slighted there. But I coulda wrote about how I was upset that he went to Texas and that I wished he was there, but that woulda got mushy and I hate that crap.

So yeah....Thats why I never mentioned your name. But thats all shot to hell now. Its cool though. You still the homie.

Life goes on

You know how every black church has a building fund? Well on the black people channel TVOne there's a reality show called Divine Restoration that renovates churches. I just thought that was cute.

TVOne is like what BET is supposed to be. BET is basically just the Black music channel instead of Black entertainment. TVOne even has an Access Hollywood for black celebrities. It shows Tom Joyner's sky shows and everything.

It seems like a good time to get a job or at least a job interview. My homie has a job interview with the FBI today. I even got a call back from a job in Atlanta. Now all I have to do is get to Atlanta for the interview....Everybody wants me to work where they are for there own selfish reasons. Some folks want me to stay in Hampton for them, someone even wants me in Texas. But hey I gotta go to a place that's gonna pay my bills.

Me and my best friend went running today. I can already tell I'ma be sore. I'm tryin not to be a lazy bum.

I'm so ready to go back to Hampton. For what? I dunno..... I guess I feel like I would have more to do there. There's just something about Tulsa I don't like. It just makes me sick. Lit-TRA-Leee (Literally). I have been sick for the past week. It happens every time I come home. I think its a sign.

Nothing against Tulsa. It's a perfectly nice city. It's just not for me.

I've been taking on my Auntly duties. Baby-sitting my beautiful neice. She's a fun kid. She's only six months old. So happy and everything. Of course you can see her mama in her. She's loud and she can have an attitude. Just like my sister.

Doing nothin....

Sometimes I just write about things that I've been thinking about rather than what I've done through out the day because......I don't be doin nothin....And I need to get some things off my mind and chest. So I write about stuff that me and my friends are talking about or stuff on TV.

I think I've asked this question before, but is it bad to let a guy take you out just cus you wanna see a movie and you're broke even if you're not interested in the dude....?

This guy is another one of those dudes from the past that I was never really interested in then and now has gotten the nerve to ask me out. I'll tell you this: the odds are not in his favor. But hey I ain't got nothin else to do...

I'll try not to be too rude, sometimes my smart-ass comments just slip out.

I was cracking up at t h e o r y's comments on my last post. I never thought of my glasses as "seductive". That's an incentive to wear them more often. My other friend said they make me look like Ms. Frizzle from The Magic Schoolbus. Hmmm....Those are two very different interpretations.

My time in Tulsa is my detox time. Cooling down period. Time to think. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. Ya know "an idle mind......" blah blah blah as the saying goes.

Sorry

I ain't got much to say.....Just tryin to kill time. Got any suggestions for things I can do while I'm at home instead of goin crazy? As I predicted, it feels like I've been here for 5 years instead of one week. Three more weeks to go. I'm still on the job hunt. Me and Tiff had a conversation about that.

Me: I need a car. Can you get a job without a car?
Tiff: Don't you think you need a place to live first?
Me: ......I could live in my car....As long as I could get to work.

Public transportation doesn't sit well with me. I guess its my spoiled nature. I'm sure one day I will have to buckle down and take the bus or something. Let's pray thats not the case. I'll even take a Geo Metro at this point.......

Interesting.....

I just finished this book by Omar Tyree called Leslie. Its about college girl who is just so off the hook that everyone wonders what's the deal with her, what's goin on in her life. She just wants to be left alone to live her life and everyone just keeps bothering her. So she taps into her voodoo powers and starts takin folks out one by one. There are so many simularities between the main character and I. Not only is she strikingly beautiful, intelligent and mysterious (achh hemm), she just wants to be able to live her life without everyone depending on her to take care of them. Now I wouldn't just start killin folk, I'm not homicidal. There's no comin back from death. But I know I have the tendency to want to get as far as possible away from my problems and those causing the problems. It can get complicated but ya know I'm working on it. The thing I did admire about her was her strength. She ain't take shit from nobody. And I take too much shit. That's the truth. I guess when I finally get tired of it, I'll stop.

Pink Panties Crew

Last week before all the graduation drama, I was having a great time chillin with my friends. My friend Dani from Denver came down to stay the week with me. She made the suggestion one night to make Pink Panties. We had to call up my pahty girl Kiana and get it poppin. Its a mixed drink y'all, get your mind out the gutter! For those of you who wanna try it, it has Vodka, frozen pink lemonade, whipped cream and ice. Blend it all together. Ironically we found out that we all had on pink panties! Get your mind out the gutter once again. Basically one person just mentioned it and then we all said 'Me too!' After that we continued to wreak havoc and chaos no matter where went. I would tell you all the details but it would ruin the good girl image some may still have of me. For those of you who know me......I'll tell you later, if you wanna know. Gotta love those Pink Panties and my crew. One of the best drunken nights of my life. Thanks DANI!

What's goin on?

Po Dave Chappelle...He done cracked up tryin to re-create the magic of his first season.... I'm sure its hard to have all that pressure on you. Feel better Dave. I'm sendin my wishes even though I know he's definitely not gone read this... The Dean promised me a job for all the trouble I went through during graduation. But I still don't think thats enough. I still deserve compensation. So starts the letter writing campaign. I'm home now. Newest project: Scrapbook of my college career. I definitely will leave out this lil tidbit about the graduation. Got lots to do. I gotta find me a job. Gotta fix my mother's computer. Every time I come home there's something wrong with it. Daggon shame. Spend time with my niece. Tryin to keep myself busy so I don't hurt nobody.Holla at y'all.

What's with all the drama?

Ok well this is senior week, this is supposed to be the week when you chill with your classmates, party, chill....But know Hampton waits to the last minute to tell you you're cleared for graduation. They make you sweat and panic until graduation day. Maybe thats how they make you appreciate that degree.....Interesting method Hampton.

So here's the story: The week of graduation seniors have to pick up their clearance cards in order to participate in the ceremony. We go the office of the registrar where our names are posted on the door. There's two lists; cleared and provisional. Provisional means there is something wrong somewhere in the system either academically or financially.

My name isn't on either list......

So I go check it out. Turns out I gotta do the exit interview for my loan. K. I do that. There's still a hold on my record. Check that out and find that I gotta sign the papers for another loan. K. Do that.

I still can't get my clearance card. I go to the registrar and they say there's two credits missing for a non- business elective. WHAT?!!! I'd checked my credits! I'm supposed to be good. So I go to the chair of my department and he says he can give me two credits for my independent studies class. But when he talks to the registrar she says 'Oh you're not two credits short, you're three credits short.'

When I talk to my advisor I found out where the problem was. When I did my audit, I was taking a class that I ended up not passing but they gave me the credits for anyway. So when I calculated the credits I needed to graduate I included those credits for the class I had to re-take and Hampton policy says they won't give you credit for the same class twice. But I didn't know they had already given me the credit. Wouldn't you think if you didn't pass a class that they wouldn't give you a credit?

SO, my advisor tells me to try and test out of any class I can in order to get those credits. I do that. I ran to get six signatures. In the rain. To take a test in a class that I had never taken before. And I passed!

So I'm thinkin 'Aight, I'm cool. I got my credits and I'm gonna get my degree.'

Saturday: I check my credits on the University website. Everything is there. Bachelor of Science Degree. Awarded: May 8, 2005. Instutional Honors. Departmental Honors.

Sunday, Graduation Day: I try to pick up my honors cords. My names' not on the list. I felt so inadequate without my cords. We go through the first ceremony. I see my my name in the program for Institutional Honors and Departmental Honors. Great. I get to the Business Dept. ceremony and they say 'Oh we don't have a card for you. My advisor goes to check with the registrar. I wait and wait and wait. I figure I'm the very last person to go so they should figure it out by the time I get to the stage. Nope. So they were like just walk in and we'll write a card for you. I walk in and everyone's fam is screamin their names. I even manage to find my fam even though I don't have my glasses on.

Then they tell me 'They aren't gonna let you walk in the ceremony. Sorry.'

Are you serious? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! All the crap you put me through and you can't even say my name as I go up to the stage so that my family that drove 24 hrs from Oklahoma can see me walk across the stage because of three f*in bogus credits that YOU coulda told me about last week when I was just chillin because I thought I was done with exams for the rest of my life and then I run all around the whole school to take a test that I PASSED just for you tell me I can't walk across the f*in stage?!!!!!!!!!

This just makes it even worse

So I went up to the school today to see what the problem was and why they didn't let me walk with my class. I took my cousin Farah and her husband Jimmy because I know she got some fire in her and she wouldn't let them off easy. Everytime I think about the situation I get so mad the tears just start to flow and I can't get anything done like that. We go to the registrar just to make sure they have everything straight because online it says I was awarded.

The woman Jill Couper tells me I've been awarded since Friday, I should have been able to walke because they sent my degree over and everything. She says the person I should complain to is Dean Credle, the dean of the school of Business. So we ride over the School of Business. The office is closed which means I can't get my degree.

But Dean Credle is there.......


So we step into his office, explain the whole situation, then look at him like 'what you gone do?' He says he didn't know anything about the situation, if he had known he woulda just called me up to come to the stage so I could at least take the picture for my parents.

Thanks a lot now.

Apparently the people I had talked to who told me I couldn't walk in the ceremony had not alerted Dean Credle to the situation at hand.

If anything the woman who had known my situation should have been the most sympathetic. She knew I took the exam and passed, I called her when I was standing in line at the registrar to have them applied. She knew I ran all over to get those signatures. She was there from the very beginning and all she had to say was:

I'm sorry.

That's not good enough. I wanted to be in the ceremony with my classmates. I graduated in 2005. I should have been able to walk.

Easily forgotten

I really need some prayer on this one. At first it was funny and coincidential, but now its more frequent and its bothering me. My memory is getting really bad. I barely remember things from yesterday. Its starting to cause a lotta problems.

1. If you forget the past you are doomed to repeat it. In other words whenever I make a mistake I forget and I continue to do it instead of learning from it. Causes problems when someone gets sick of you doing the thing that irritates them most about you.
2. I forget what I'm doing....sometimes in the middle of doing it. Sometimes I never get anything completely done or it takes forever.
3. I forget to check back on people, return phone calls, things like that.....Makes me seem like I don't care. But I do, I just forgot.

I put things in the same place so that I don't forget where they are. I go crazy when I can't find things.

I love pictures even though I usually forget to take them. Which reminds me I need to get a camera......

I make lists, I love lists because they help me remember.

The good side of having a bad memory is that I don't hold grudges, I do't really trip over small stuff......

But anyway it can't be a good sign. I need some memory excersizes.

Time to Celebrate

I've checked my grades......and I am actually graduating! With honors! I know its only by the grace of God, because I ain't do much of nothing this year. And thinking about it I think Milyaka must have spoken it for me because I everytime I spoke to her she said, "You're graduating!" I am not kiddin folks. Every.............single.........time. And I was like, "Ehh yeah sure. Thats the plan."

But its crazy because I never saw this happening. Graduating from college. I was always a good student and college was always the natural progression after high school, but I just never saw it. Now that its here, its unreal. I mean you work and you work and then you're done. You're done. You are DONE. It seems so abrupt.

Where do we go from here?

Now there's the fear of being a "grown up". You know....not having any fun, going to work everyday, going to sleep early......That sucks!

I hope I don't become that type of grown up......