Chillin, chillin, chillin

Me and the girls went to the BE-ach yesterday and had some happy hour cocktails....I was responsible. I only had two even though they were just a dollar. I tried to watch Troy for the fifth time and ended up falling asleep on the couch last night. If I fall asleep downstairs it takes me forever to drag my butt upstairs. I finally did after falling asleep for about three hours. Went upstairs and after tryin to fall asleep in my bed, I couldn't sleep! So I got up and had a 5am convo with my homegirl.....Didn't go back to sleep till it was light outside.

But why did everyone and MY mama wanna call me early this morning? I don't know what was said, I just remember something about graduation tickets and invitations.....go back to sleep...blah blah blah.

I do plan on hoppin on that sewing machine today. For some reason my keyboard is not tryin to work on my computer so I had to use my roomie's. I found the perfect smiley to describe it:

Final Final

New episodes of Dave Chappelle on May 31st! I can't wait.

Lemme tell you about this final. I wasn't worried because I had already calculated my grade and I would pass whether I took it or not. But I did get kinda nervous when people were finished with a 6 question essay test after like twenty minutes. Thats outrageous! I couldn't even get my thoughts together after that one. So I tried to finish some more of the test and then I was like.....I give up! I'm out this piece!

I finally got out of the icebox that is my friends' room. She ain't gone read this so I can say that. When I got home I washed my hair and the next day I woke up with a plan....I started thinking of some projects that I could start. A new skirt. I already got the sketch for it. We'll see how it goes.....

Then I got a call from my girl Holly askin if I wanted to run some errands with her lil sisters. I say sure, I ain't got no plans. The first stop: Horseshoe Tattoo to get Nikita's (also my lil sis from OK) cartiledge pierced. She offered to pay me to get a piercing as a graduation present. So I did it! It hurt like a @#$#%! But its so cute. My piercer Shane had some difficulty given the size of my ears and the tight spot where I wanted it....Leave it up to me to pick the most difficult place to put a ring. He kept saying 'I'm sooo sorry, I'm soooo sorry, but its gonna be cool.' I wiped the single tear from my eye said 'Ima soldier.' He even took pics of it for his portfolio. Excuse the ear wax.....



Next stop: the mall. While in The Icing I caught the eye of this cute lil boy. He couldn't have been more than 3 years old. Then he began to flirt with me. He had this lil smirk on his face like 'Yeah..... I know I'm cute'. I ain't lyin, I got witnesses. I told y'all that lil boys be havin a thing for me. I don't know what it is...I can't help it.

I picked up my homegirl Kiana cus she crazy and I only see her on the weekends. She's my pahty gal from Bahston(Boston). We met the others at Jason's Deli where we nearly closed the joint down listenin to Holly and Kiana's story about their drunken adventures/ blind date horrors/ work related tales. Them girls crack me up!.

Holly: Thanks for settin me up with S-CURL!
Kiana: Hey, my date was FINE....thats all that matters. I can't help it if I tell him to bring a friend and he's jacked up.

But for real, Fellas you know when you're friends are jacked up.....That's just plain mean. He betta have a GREAT personality to off set an S-Curl. Nah, I'm sorry you can't off set an S-Curl......

Last stop: Target to pick up a storage bin. I was on my own mission to replace my 112 Hot and Wet CD.... Sadly they didn't have any. I can't get Pleasure and Pain until I have my Hot and Wet. And I be hearing some of the songs in my head at the strangest times. Does anyone have it so I can burn it?


All in all it was a fun filled lovely day that I really really needed. I have to thank the Lord for that!

Randomnessssss

Incubus~Drive
How come the smartest people I know academically are the 'slowest' people I know?

I need a hobby that requires actual effort. I should work out or something, maybe it would give me some energy. I feel old!

I need some motivation. I need some passion in my life. I need some focus! Where is it Lord?!! Because I know the Lord wants me to graduate, but what does he want me to do after that?

My new motto should be "Better Late Than Never".

Every time I turn on the TV I get caught up in this infomericial for a flat iron called the MaxiGlide. Not only is the guy who invented it out of control but I just get amazed at how well it works (they even did some REAL black folks hair!!). Since my hair has been semi-natural for years and I have like 234,434,556 curlers, flat irons and hot combs that don't get my hair where I want it to be, I drool over this iron everytime I see it. Graduation gift anyone?

I was searching jobs today. I've found I'm not to keen on the 9 to 5 thing. I need a freelance job. But what would I freelance.

I secretly get jealous of girls with their big super afros. I like my hair wild sometimes but it has to be a controlled wild. Metaphor for me.

I'm afraid of what my blog will look like this summer when I go home to OK to visit......Example:

Monday:

I'm bored.

Tuesday:

Just watched Dawson's Creek finale and cried.....AGAIN.

Wednesday:

I'm going crazy! I want out!

If I could blog for a living that would be fine. Did I choose the wrong major? Ahh well, I got the degree now.....

Feinin for a haircut. I think it shall be done before graduation just to freak my mom out.

I miss my mama.

I did get my hood and tassel by the way. Now my fam won't be here for nothin.....Unless those credits don't pan out. Even so I'll get to see my neice and my mom and thats not for nothin.

Imperfection

I found these new lil smileys and I like them!

Task for today: find that hood thingy that goes with my cap and gown so I can actually walk at graduation and my family doesn't come down here for no reason.


It's funny who you get intimidated by. Or how other peoples' imperfections makes you feel better about yourself. How you become accustomed to your looks. Where confidence comes from. It has taken me years to build self confidence. For some reason when I was younger my sister loved to hate on me. She outright made me feel ugly. And maybe I was, I dunno. If I wasn't, I felt like I was. It all made a big impact on how I went about things. Maybe if I was more confident I wouldn't have been as quiet in public as I was.

I still have my struggles. Have you seen my friends? They are beautiful! When we go out, I do get passed up. But can I blame them? Hecks no! My friends are off the hook! DIMES! SILVA DOLLAS!

But just the same to make it from day to day, I have to find something about myself that is beautiful. And don't get me wrong, I think I'm cute. I have wonderful features. But I've never thought of myself as beautiful. In high school, I was off the chain cute! But I never knew it until I look back at pictures and wow. I just never realized the power of clear skin and being free of male problems. I didn't really have any pimples or male problems until I got to college. Isn't that backwards?

People tell me that they think I'm beautiful, but it doesn't matter if everyone in the world is telling you you're the bomb if you don't believe it. The mind is a powerful thing. That's one reason I don't take compliments well. I don't believe them.

College has been one big coming out party for me. I'm not shy anymore. There's no reason to be. Not quiet anymore. I'm starting to speak out more, even though there are some things I have a hard time saying. I'm still reserved about most things. I'm not the go buck wild type of gal. My parents are very laid back so I had no reason to rebel as a teen. My best friend said she's beginning not to recognize me. I don't think that's a compliment.......

But back to the subject at hand(thats my new fav phrase). Of course my looks will change, they are forever changing. I just have to get used to them as I grow and appreciate what God has given me.

Diary

Who do you tell your secrets to? I've kept a diary every since I was 11 years old. When I was younger I really didn't have anyone I could talk to. My aunt worked for American Greetings and she would give me all kinds of stationary and journals and I would write about anything, everything. I always wondered if my mom or sister ever read my diaries. If they did, they never said anything.

Now who do I tell my secrets to? If I can bring myself to even talk about them, I tell them to a few of my friends. I don't really like my business to be out there and my closest friends are in different states so its not like things get back to Hampton. I find it very hard to keep things from Milyaka and Tiff. They know just about everything. And sometimes I try to keep things from them and it just comes out. But its not like they care about the details of my life, they just listen because they love me. Tiff probably don't care, she's just nosy. But she's a good listener if you can keep her focused. And if I can't talk to them about it, it goes in my journal.

I'm tryin to get better at being a good friend. Sometimes I forget and I'm not considerate. You would think with all these overly sensitive friends I have that they might rub off on me. But really they just make me feel like they're taking things way too seriously when really their feelings are totally valid, its just not the way I would handle things.

Stalkative

Ciara-Oh
You know everyone's fav part of this video, the car scene. I think that takes real skill and ab strength. "Wishin I was easy I can see it. Thats when I say NO, What Fo?" This video has nothing to do with the topic at hand.....Enjoy.

There's a term that my friend Holly came up with a few years ago. Stalkative. It means you have stalker tendencies. We used to describe some of the males we knew as stalkative, now I must admit that I...Yakarien...am stalkative. I probably shouldn't be saying this... But really, who isn't? I mean you know that you know when and where your fav person leaves class. You know you check their away messages. You know you check their facebook page just as often as you check yours. Some of y'all probably know their friends' schedules as well.....So fear not, you are not alone. Just don't make it too obvious.


On another note, I need a back-crackin like nobody's business. I must be sleepin wrong or something because my back is seriously all knotted up.

1 down, 1 to go

Where do I begin? Well I just finished one of my finals. I hope I passed. It's actually the only class I'm worried about. I got one last final on Monday that I will actually have to put time into and study for it. There's so much going on this weekend, I wish I were done already.

I had a great day at the beach with my SRT fam. I just love those guys. Ima miss them. This is first year that I didn't have to bring my 'outside' friends on SRT events just so I would have fun.

Tell me why the SRT sponsor tried to tell me it was because of the mini skirt(the only one I own in the whole world) I was wearing that my teacher bumped my grade up two letters? I'd rather believe it was because he knew my potential and I did not deserve a D........ I'm not the type of girl to use her feminine wiles to get her way....not from teachers at least.

I don't know why I'm soo tired. I go to bed at a reasonable hour most of the time.

Senior ball pics are still on the way. I just gotta upload em. They're hot. Did I mention I had a great time at senior ball? Yeah, I definitely did. I'll write again when I have something productive to say. Right now I'm just babbling.

Only by the grace of God.....

Like I have said before, the Lord really wants me to graduate. Today I met with my teacher to see what my grade is. If you got a B or better you don't have to take a final. I knew in my heart of hearts that I didn't have a B, but I was hoping that the final might at least give me a C. He looked at my grade and said, "Uhhh well it looks like you have a D in the class.....but I can give you a B- because the final wouldn't make a difference anyway." So I don't have to take the final and Ima graduate with honors. Look at God! He still finds a way to take care of me throughout everything. Amen!

College prom

Of course senior ball was Saturday and I went. I had the greatest time on Earth. Everyone looked absolutely gorgeous. It was better than both my high school proms.

Reasons why senior ball was better than prom:

1. I loved my dress
2. I had on my sexy shoes.
3. The venue was so spacious no one sweated out their hair unless they were just doin way too much on the dance floor.
4. No one got stabbed, punched or stomped on the dance floor.
5. It didn't end abruptly early.
6. My date:

He picked me up, we matched, and he bought me a McGriddle in the morning. I'm not a hard gal to please. If you knew how my other proms were, you would understand.

I pre-partied at my house with Adrianne and my other roomate Larry. We had a mini-photo shoot and let's just say I was very "happy" when I got to the ball. It helped out a lot I must say. If there was anything I may have gotten a lil upset about, it was not an issue. I worked that room. Huggin folks I barely knew but I was very happy to see them! It was great!

On a side note: Ladies, if you have heard of this thing called the natural bra or comfort bra, I definitely reccomend things for the D cup ladies and smaller. Its a really good buy. It stayed on the whole night and even looked good in my after party outfit.

Anyway, I never made it to the after party. Went to Denny's instead. We waited for almost two hours to get our food because there was like 10 of us. Then as they were bringing out our trays of food, a roach crawls across the table. I was really upset because I was hungry and I could just taste that moon over my hammy.....So we went to the 24hr McDonald's instead.

So that was my night and like I said it was GREAT!

This is me and my date. Pardon the make-up. It was at the end of the night and I had forgotten my whole rule about not taking pics at the end.

Me and my homegirl Ka-nanana in a gangsta pose.

My Five Heartbeats!

Yes I did wear those sunglasses the whole night.....

That's it

U don't have to call~ Usher

I've been in the library since Monday. One day I was actually here from 9am-4pm. And I wonder why I'm losing weight. I barely got up to pee. As I've mentioned before, my computer is trash.....I don't think I've ever been in the library so much in my whole life. That's what happens to procrastinators. You end up spending more time doing it than you would if you had started earlier. Finally got done with all my projects. Next up FINALS! Pray for me. But now I can let loose!

I'm tryin to go to senior ball. I think me and my homie are gonna split a ticket price, but we're gettin it on sale because these prices are ridiculous! $150 for one night?! What's actually happening at this ball? Are we having champagne and caviar? Steak and Shrimp? Is Jay-z gonna perform? HIGHLY DOUBTFUL! So I refuse to pay full price. At first I wasn't pressed about this ball, but now I wanna go....My friend is lettin me borrow a dress. Like a true procrastinator I waited until the last minute. But I'm excited about this dress. It's red. I look good in red.

I think I'm more excited about gettin ready for the thing than the actual event. I'm such a girl. I can't wait to fix my make-up and hair, knowing its probaly gonna get sweated out. That's what happened to my home girl. Ah well, at least it will be cute for the pictures at the beginning of the night. Gotta remember to get a camera. No pics at the end of the night PLEASE. Who wants to remember how busted we looked at the end of senior ball?

Almost there

I'm still workin y'all and I'm starting to look like this. So all I have to give is another video. Don't get me wrong, I got a lot to say just no time to write it. Enjoy.....for me.

C'mon baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby....OH YEAH!!


Mario~C'mon baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby

I'm actually working today.....I'll leave you with this.

112~U Already know

Southern Comfort

Don't you just love the south? Let me tell you about the day I had at Lenox Mall. I did get to do some serious shopping. Now its time to seriously stop. But there were some outrageous moments I just had to mention. A guy just comes up to me in the mall hustling his CD. I was like wow. He even sang a lil to me to give me a taste of what I might be hearing if I bought his CD. I decided to support the young brotha. He had a really nice voice. Plus if he blows up I can say I was one of the first to buy his CD and he signed it for me. I'll let you know how that is. As we were leaving this mall we got cornered by several cars. Sorta felt like we were fugitives on the run and the police had keep us from moving. But in the first car it was just these dudes tryin to give us their CD. Kinda scary. Gold teeth and everything. Then this guy took a liking to me and asked me to come over. He kept on eyeing me staring at my crotch like he could get through my pants with X-ray vision. His best compliment was that I was just soooo thick he had to see what was up with that. First of all, I'm not that thick....Must be the jeans. Am I in denial? Hey if you see me on the street, let me know....

Changes are acomin

This has been an interesting week. I finally got to play some pool. I ended up playing at a table with three guys that I had beaten last time I was there so they all had a vendetta against me. They were just waitin to play me. It was the only thing on their minds since I had beaten them. So there were some good games.I won, I lost. All in all it was a good day for pool.

On Wednesday, I tried to get some work done. I didn't get that much done. 112 came and Theory put me on assignment for WHOV. I was all up in it. I'm not the kind of person to get starstruck but they were really cool. Some girl behind was yellin at Q. "WHY are you so fine Q?! You are SOO fine!" In the midst of everything I lost my entire collection of new CD's including the last 112 that I was listening to all morning. I'm really sad about that. Watched Top Model.Thumbs up to the show for all those creative assignments. Thumbs down for puttin black women in red lipstick.....What do you do when you're hungry at 1 am? You cook! Or at least I do. My homie Rainman came over and we had some pasta and chicken over an interesting conversation about writing names on walls with questionable substances. Trust me, you don't wanna know.... (Didn't think I would write about that did ya?)

I decided to run away for the weekend. Rented a car with my lil sis and her homie's and went to Atlanta. I'm spontaneous like that. I shoulda gotten in touch with my Morehouse friends from facebook. Got a slight haircut. I'm still on the fence about going natural. I haven't had a perm in a year, but somehow I always break down and get one. I might actually do it this time. We'll see.

More than one person has told me not to get into trouble this week. First of all, do I look like I go looking for trouble? Secondly, I think I may have gotten into more trouble if I had stayed at home. And third, what kinda trouble could I get into in a strange city? WELL lets find out!

Plans for the weekend:

1. Get a pedicure
2. Find a possible senior ball gown
3. Kidnap a Morehouse man
4. Find Usher and see if the rumors are true
5. Do some homework.

I need a change in my life. I think I might change my room around when I get home. I need a change of atmosperhere.

He's just not that into you

For SRT week I hosted a discussion about the book He's Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Guide to Understanding Men by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo. The gist of the book is that if a man is not calling you or if he doesn't ask for your number then he's just not that into you. The authors say that if women want to know why they are not in a committed relationship its because they are too aggressive or they just aren't seeing the signs. Basically how to tell if you are in a dead-end relationship. In a nutshell he's saying 'Chill ladies, let the man come to you. And if he doesn't he's just not that into you and therefore not worth your time.'

I feel what he is saying, but at the same time I'm conflicted because that means I have to sit on my hands and wait for a guy. What if I see one I like? Shouldn't I have the right to go up to him? But this guy says if I do, he won't respect me..... So I have no choice, if I want a quality man, but to wait for him to find me. I don't like having my choices taken away from me.

At the same time it made me look at some of my interactions with males and evaluate. The book says he's just not that into you if :

• He's not calling you.
• He's too insanely busy to pick up the phone.
• He doesn't like the words 'relationship' or 'boyfriend'.
• He doesn't take you out.

So think about this.....He's giving you all the signs but you're so caught up you don't want to see them. So you start making excuses for him. Oh....He's afraid to get hurt again. Maybe he's intimidated by me. He just got out of a relationship. These guys says that is never the case. He just doesn't like you! If he did, none of that stuff would matter because he would get past that just to be with you.

We decided to ask some males about this book. Is it accurate? Are we playing ourselves? What about when he says things like .......? The guys answered our questions as well as they could, but of course they could only answer based on their experiences. Some of the ladies got our feelings hurt as we thought about our situations. But I also noticed that all of our perceptions of the opposite sex have been severely adjusted because of the people we have encountered.

On a side note: I could see myself being a talk show host. It was sooo fun mediating that discussion and posing questions to group while being impartial. I loved it.

So fellas, I'd like to pose the question to you. Is this book telling the truth? Some guys say thats not always the case, but most say the book is dead on. Wouldn't it save a whole bunch of time if we knew to just leave the man alone and not wonder why why why? So just tell us fellas if you just not that into us. It might hurt at first, but we will appreciate the lack of drama that is sure to come if we continue to worry if you will ever call. It will also save you the trouble of having to get your tires replaced after some woman slashes them cus you strung her along for years and you just weren't that into her but you wanted her around cus you knew she would be there but at the same time you had another woman who you really were into but you were waiting on her to come around........END IT ALREADY!

On My Last Day

Queen Latifah & Al Green~Simply Beautiful

Teedra Moses has a song about her last day on earth.....I just wonder where that song came from. She lost her mother a while ago. When people close to you die it does give you an interesting perspective on life. Its so hard for me to think of death without crying, even though in Christian faith we believe that once you accept Christ you will have life everlasting. I'm still a baby in Christ so its gonna take me a second to get that concept. But its hard for me to imagine my life without the people who are with me in it. I find it hard to even complete this post without crying. When I was younger, I did wonder what it would be like if I died. Who would cry. Who wouldn't. Is that a selfish thought?

You know what I do believe is selfish? Suicide. Its the most selfish thing you can do. Someone does look forward to hearing from you each day and if the Lord decides to take you then we know thats the way of the world, but to just take your own life just because you think its too hard to live.......I mean we all have it bad, some worse than others at times, but if you dwell on the negative that's all you will be able to see. You need to have faith so that you know that even when times are hard, things eventually will get better. Life is just hard in general, that's why you have family and friends. They make life worth living. At least for me they do. But if you don't have friends that make you feel that way, you need to get some new ones. Trust me, you gone need em.


But its hard for me to think about what I want to be doing on my last day on Earth. I wanna have a long conversations with my best friends talking about old times. I wanna be able to pass heirlooms to my grand-children and great-grandchildren. I want the sun to shine. I want to be satisfied with my life. I pray that God finds me fit to be in Heaven. I want to listen to my favorite songs. I want everyone to know how much I loved them, even though they could never possibly know the magnitude of my love for them. Yeah, I know its gonna be a sad day, but I don't want it to be an empty day.

SATURDAY

Yeah, yesterday was a long, long day. Starting at 5am when I woke up after maybe 3 or 4 hours of sleep. It was Hampton University's annual High School Day. Which is basically what the Student Recruitment Team works all year toward. We had at least 6,000 extra people on campus yesterday. We had to keep them entertained, give tours and keep smiles on our faces the entire day. For the first half of the day I had to wear a suit and heels and I had nothing to do. So I grabbed some raffle tickets and these Relay for Life rubberband bracelets and started selling them. Then the day got better. People are so funny.

Lady: How much are the raffle tickets?
Me: One dollar.
Someone else (to the lady): What's the prize?
Lady: I dunno, but I love a good raffle. Give me five.

I had about a three hour break where I ate, enjoyed some music and picked up a high school boy. Yup sure did! He was 17, tall and cute as a button! He was my "lil sister's" real little brother and he hung out with me for a while. Milyaka stop calling me a pedophile, I was just showing him around.

Then came my big moment, what I had been preparing for the last 3 weeks. The afternoon program where the band plays, the greeks step and we give away stuff while the DJ plays. No one had shown up to any of the practices we'd had this week and everyone was late to the actual afternoon program. I was freakin out and I was pissed at the same time. But in the end everyone made it and everything turned out fine, so I know I should keep my cool next time.

I took a tremendous nap in my friends' room (she said I was snoring when she came in the room, sorry), got some food and I went to an on-campus party in our gym. It was ehhh aight. So my day began at 5am and ended at 3am. High school day is always like that for me and this was my last one. Awww, I had a great time. Just ask what I did last year, didn't get back till the sun came up.....

No matta what people say

I didn't post yesterday, I was on my feet all day from 5am on...But to make you feel like I did, I pre-dated this post. Enjoy.

Lil' Kim~No matta what people say


How much weight does what people say hold with you? Now we all say 'I don't care what people think'. But to be honest, I am one of those people that do care what my friends think. Not to the point where it dictates my life because they all know I'm hard headed and I don't listen to anyone. But it matters what they think because they know me and they care about my well being, so I know its sincere.

But of course there are those who ain't lookin out for you, who don't care about your feelings, who will tell you things just to manipulate the way you act. You must be able to decipher who is on your team and who's against you.

Don't you think it is important to get an alternative point of view? In some situations there are things about people that you just may not be able to see. And what if what people are telling you is just God using them as a gateway?

One reason I don't give advice anymore is that people don't listen and it makes me mad to have to tell them I told you so. I am also a victim of people telling me they told me so. But nevertheless some people can learn from not doing and some people just have to experience things for themselves.