Hypocrite

So I've been thinking and its been going on for a while now. It kinda started when I sat in on the youth bible study. My jaw dropped open when they began to tell us things they would see on a daily basis. Kids having sex in hallways because they figure what's the point in hiding it? I asked, so what do you do? They said, ignore it. One, thank God said I pray for em.

Most of these kids have been in church all their lives. Most of em look like they've been dragged there. But yet they know the right responses to give. What to put on their social network pages. They know what to tell their parents. They know how to hide their dirt better than most adults.

So, I began to wonder: Are we raising hypocrites? I mean not me technically since I'm not a parent. But I have cousins and lil ones under me. What deception is telling them its ok to live a double life? One thing is clear: they don't feel like they have to choose. They can have their Nikki Menage and their Kirk Franklin. Their club on Saturday and church on Sunday. Joshua 24:15 says:

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Matthew 16:24

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."

Who is teaching these people? And do they even care? It's just disheartening and scary. Because if there's no compassion, they will do anything. They are our future and they have no regard or respect. No fear of the Lord.

Now Proverbs 22:6 says Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Did we train them for this? How do you even begin to raise a sincere and caring person? I guess it begins with being one in conjunction with prayer.

I know I'm not the easiest leader to be under, but I walk my walk. I'm not perfect by any means, but I honestly want and try to live right. I just wonder when we will stop raising people who want to blend in or follow whats hot right now or who are just plain selfish and start raising people who want to live for the kingdom.

Preparation

I had no idea when I moved back to Tulsa the training that I would be under. God you have amazed me day after day. I know its all for a reason. I won't be afraid.

Who do you think you are?

Have you ever been around someone who know is looking down on you? Or maybe a particular area of your life? I feel like I just got a taste of this from a person who used to be one of my really close friends. I say 'used to' because we haven't been so close for a while now.

I actually got confirmation about this when I talked to my cousin. But what it did was make me check myself. And if I've ever made any of you feel that I was better, then I apologize to you and repent to God.

There's a thin line between walking the straight and narrow and being self righteous. If you don't know by now, I am always willing to let you know that I am in no way perfect. Nor do I have all the answers. Although if there is a question I love to seek the answers for myself.

I'd appreciate if we all took ourselves down a notch. If we plan on correcting or rebuking one another, make sure its in love and not an effort to make yourself look better.

The adventures of JK

It seems every time my friend Joy and I go out of town SOMETHING goes terribly wrong. I say "every time" but we've only been on the road together twice. I wonder if after this she'll give me another chance.

For example, we went to Texas last year. We actually got down there without a hitch. But on the way back, I'd heard from friends who make the trip fairly often to take another highway because its faster. We did NOT know that there were a ton of tolls on this new highway. We didn't have enough cash...

First toll: Take this slip to the next toll.

Second toll: This is the last slip if you get 3, you get a ticket.

So we asked is there a place we can stop to get some cash? Mind you I ain't see one gas station between these last 2 tolls. She says theres a gas station before you get to the next toll. Stop there.

Driving....driving...nothing.

No gas station. No fast food joint. Nothing. As we approach the toll I see the McD's....after the toll. So I try to make the appeal that the last lady told us about the McDonald's. This lady, just nasty as she wanna be says, They told us about you. Pull over there, the state trooper is comin.

Dang. What do I do now?

The trooper was way more understanding than those stupid toll people. There was no need for that. PLUS the lady lied to us! So he volunteers to give me a ride to the ATM. Card doesn't work... He gave us one more chance. Joy came through in a pinch. Saved me from getting a $300 ticket because of like 4 bucks in tolls.

Which brings me to my birthday weekend....The first plan started out with a trip to Dallas with 3 or 4 of my girls. One by one, they start falling off. So to make it more feasible I say lets go to OKC. Shorter trip, more economical. At the end of the day, it was just me and my roaddawg Joy.

Lemme tell you: procrastination will get you every time. I got better for awhile, but this is a sickness. I gotta do things in the moment. It's terrible.

We ended up leaving late because I wanted to rent a car, but I paid my bill a lil later than I should have. I procrastinated even before this because I was planning on finding my license somewhere and couldn't. I couldn't very well rent a car with no license. So...I had to get a new one. Before we left.

BUT because I didn't pay my bill early enough (just one hour), the payment didn't post in time. Long story short we ended up going back to the counter 3 times before the I actually got the car.

Oh but this bad boy was sexy....A white Ford Escape. Ahhh Escape. Perfecto!

So because we got on the road late, we missed our reservation at a restaurant that I really was excited about trying. Went and checked in at the hotel. Which was sooo beautiful. Did a lil dancin round the room and went to eat....at Chili's. Womp. However, the food was bomb and I got a free dessert. A gorgeous chocolate volcano with ice cream on top. Until...a nasty piece of hair surfaced from somewhere. I got another free dessert to go.

Well somewhere in the middle of all this...I clearly forgot to pack anything....

No bathing suit

No contact solution

No flat shoes

No pajamas (this is something I forget often)

Wal-Mart to the rescue. I did at this point remember to get a bathing suit (which has inspired another blog) and pajamas.

Actual Birthday: done. Morning time comes and its time for breakfast. So I make my appearance at breakfast in heels and part of my outfit planned for that day. I sure know how to be a show stopper.

After breakfast, we get our swim suits on and go down to the pool. I didn't know that Joy was part fish. She was right at home in the water. I, on the other hand, didn't technically know how to swim. So she taught me! She said she thinks I was lying about not knowing how to swim because I didn't struggle at ALL. Well, hey I'm smart and I'm a fast learner. Besides...Pisces...hello!

In the midst of all this swimming and GREAT discussion, we lost track of time. The hot tub was heaven! I had to practically force the Lil Mermaid out of the pool. When we made it to our room, the key doesn't work. So we went down to the front desk.

Um what time is check out?

12

What time is it?

11:51

We make a mad dash to gather our things, take showers and get dressed. Imagine 2 girls trying to get dressed in 8mins...Craziness.

It wasn't til later that we found out about this thing called 'late checkout'. Something that the girl at the front desk made no effort to tell us about. Skinch. She saw that we were all disheveled and wet.

Now I can't find the stupid swimsuit I spent so much energy toiling over.

But we got our things together. I got some contact solution and we finished getting dressed at my best friends house. Because it was sooo beautiful outside, we decided to take a walk around Bricktown. Get a drink at Starbucks, got some Girl Scout cookies and ate some sushi. Living the life!

And that was our time in OKC... The details of the evening are not important. Had great evening after I got back to Tulsa as well.

The point of all this is that nothing went the way I planned. I could have chosen to be upset. Mostly at myself. But I chose to enjoy every moment. We had a blast. 28 feels good. And I'm glad that I had someone with me who didn't have an attitude. Who chose to laugh along with our craziness. That's my roomie! I think I'm done planning trips though. I think I need someone more organized to get the ball rolling. I just wanna go along for the ride.

Ok, now let me stop procrastinating and finish my taxes.

What is this?

For the past couple weeks I can say I've had something that resembles.....get ready.....a life! But shoot its tiring having a life. I may have to retreat back to my hermit- like lifestyle. I've had so much fun, but I feel like I haven't gotten anything done. With some new changes happening at work, I've been given a lot more responsibility than I asked for.

Every now and then its good to be pushed. Have I become the person I want to be? Not yet. But I'm aware. Clearly there's still work to be done.

This is excitement!

I'm super excited and I think this warrants a new blog because I am typing on my brand new beautiful laptop! YEEEE!! I've never had a brand new computer. Nor one that didn't break my back because I was trying to lug it somewhere. Or that I was too embarrassed to take outside. Now I got my internet AND laptop and its all working together! YAY! Praise God~

Laundry all night long

Since my last post I was snowed in a my friends house for several days then I just ended up staying there for like a week. At some point after I got my car jumped (because the battery died) and dug out from the snow, there was no point in me being there. I just got up and made my bed and went to work. I even went home and got MORE clothes. We had a blast.

We eventually had a rescue team come in and get us for some periodic dance sessions on the Wii. Which may have gotten us into a situation that we are now having a hard time getting out of. We' ll see how this goes. I was telling a friend to that it's fun when new relationships come from people who were always around. Take me and Joy for example. We were cool, but now I can really say we're friends. That's what happens when you spend a week straight with some one. Either you get closer or you kill each other. I'm glad it was the former.

Many revelations though these past few weeks, which I'm sure will manifest in this blog. Can't wait to share. Can't wait to get a new computer. Soon and very soon.

Snow Day

If you follow me on twitter you know that my computer died and I refuse to write an entire blog on my ipod. I just won't do it. As an update, well I still think don't think I've been spending my money as well as I could have. But I haven't been trying to ball out like I used to. So I'm more aware of where I'm spending. Budget my bills out first. So on and so forth.

I also had that hard conversation with my friend. Which had it moments. But I got my feelings off my chest. I'm glad I voiced my opinion and didn't just harbor resentment. She got to say what she felt. It was weird for a lil bit, but we got through it. I'm still gonna have to come out of my comfort zone. It's apart of growth.

We got a blizzard goin on so I'm snowed in. Getting all the rest I can stand.

Ok so

I don't do resolutions but I am gonna try something different and I'm going to document it for accountability purposes. So anyone who knows me knows I have a little bit of a shopping problem. It doesn't help matters that I work/live in my favorite clothing store plus I have a discount and we get crazy deals. So I have to decided to see how long I can go without shopping. The ultimate goal is 90 days. Shoot I'll be happy if I can make it 21 days. And I'm gonna start there.

So the rules are:

1. No frivolous spending which includes clothes shopping, eating out more than 3x a week or things at wal-mart that I really just don't need.

2. However every pay period I will allow myself to splurge on a lil something for the specified amount of $25 (I just made that up right now, I hadn't specified earlier)

And I think thats about it. The gist of it is I'm tired of never getting anywhere with my savings and my closet is steady getting more and more full. So here goes. I'm gonna check in with my blog on payday because thats when I get my urge to spend and we'll see how it goes from there.

one

I had to put on my comfy clothes for this one. Take the contacts out and relax for this here. So I was just having some random thoughts the other night and decided to jot them down. I don't know where this is gonna go so be prepared for anything. I also don't really have a point so if it works out I will be totally surprised. Here goes:

I've never been a popular person per se. I moved around a lot. Not alot of time to get to know people. Connections were short lived. All I've ever needed was one friend. One ryde or die homie. One mic. One confidant. Usually when I moved to a new place. I would be outgoing for a while, find my one person and then shut down again. I've never wanted lots of people to know my name. Although, let's face it they probably should.Now I'm not unpopular in the nerdy, geeky sense of the word. I just don't know alot of people nor do they know me. I don't want people calling or texting me at all times of the day and night asking, "What are you doing? Whats going on tonight? Where the party at?" I don't want to be obligated to too many people. I don't want to have to entertain.

So the ironic thing is that those kind of people seem to gravitate to me. Why? Idk. Because I'm NOT a groupie? I'm available? Who knows? So needless to say: I don't really understand this phenomenon. I know some famous people in real life. They may not have a record deal or a tv show, but people really like to hype them up. I just think its gotta be exhausting ya know?

Which is probably all of these stars begin to fall apart at some point. I think we all need to be able to hear our own voices. Get to a quiet place and hear God. And I'm not saying that the way I keep people at a distance is right or healthy. And I'm not saying that its not. But at times it sure is helpful. I can entertain myself. I enjoy me.

Some people simply have an attractive personality. And for some reason they usually don't mind having people around. We need these kind of people in the world. They're called influencers. The problem usually comes when they influence people in the wrong direction. Take Hitler for instance. Bad influence leading to genocide.

College and work have made me step outside of my boundaries. I've become more outspoken, but at the heart I'm still loner.

Communicate!

For the past few weeks I have been going back and forth learning this lesson in communication. I admit I wouldn't call myself the best at it. But I have been told that I am: passive aggressive, a bad listener, not verbally expressive, cold and just a flat out bad communicator.

A lil something about me:

When I was younger, I felt whether I said things or not it wouldn't matter. People don't change based on what you say anyway. Therefore I kept a lot to myself. I journaled my feelings. I've kept a journal since I was 11. When it came time for me to actually let someone into my life, I can't lie it was extremely hard to let them into my thoughts.

Trust is a major issue. I am still very cautious about who I let in. But now after getting a hard and fast lesson about fighting and having some (to me) highly sensitive friends, I've tried to notice any signs that I'm shutting down. I'm not very sensitive, but I'm not selfish. I really do care about others and their feelings.

Now, I try to nip things in the bud early. If I'm really upset, it may take me a day to get my thoughts together and then present them. I never cut all all communication. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away, it just makes it more awkward when you finally have to face it. Its still very, very hard for me to confront people. But when I push past my discomfort and bring up these issues, is it unreasonable for me to expect some reciprocation? Well you can't expect everyone to be where you are.

One of my very outspoken friends who prides herself on her communication and I have been bumping heads since day one. Just because you say it out loud doesn't make it ok what you say. So I find myself having to regain my footing and think about how to talk to her. If I am extremely straight forward with someone, I feel like they can take it. Some people make you have to rethink what you say them. Well I feel like I do that with her. But maybe she doesn't necessarily do that for me. Or perhaps she feels like she does.... It must be addressed. Leading to another awkward conversation.

I'm getting the feeling that life is full of awkward conversations. Yes, just now realizing that. And I get tired of them. I get tired of explaining. I get tired. Why can't you just know?! But if you value your relationships, you have to. Otherwise, if you don't care about those relationships justshutup.

How do you know love?

So this is the question: What does it mean to be IN love? I remember a teacher once told us that if you find that you still love that person 10 yrs from now, you can know that you really loved that person. I was discussing this with my best friend and her conclusion was this: its simply loving someone who you're attracted to.

I feel this way: there's got to be some evidence of sacrifice. If you're not willing to give anything up for that person, don't say you love them. Secondly, people will hurt you time and time again. Whether it be intentionally or unconsciously its bound to happen at some time. You have to be able to forgive. Third, you have to be able to feel safe with that person. Enough to let them in the deep, dark places that no one else is allowed.

If you gather all those things and place it with a level of passion and attraction Voila! You're in love! Sex is not love. We seem to know this and at the same time, we act like we don't. Sex has one purpose to bond two people, create life and of course pleasure. It sounds like 3 but its one. When the purpose for something is not known it will be abused. So people have taken an attribute out the total purpose and made it seem like thats the purpose. Well we know that the pleasure in sex is the sense of euphoria you feel by the release of chemicals through an orgasm. Giving you (mostly women) that 'loving' feeling.

So "being in love" can be accelerated by physical affection, constant communication and emotional pulls. This is also known as a soul tie.

My love test starts with this: 1 Corinthians 13:4

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And that's just the beginning, being in love is still not the same as staying in love. I do believe that love(the action) is a choice and something that you have to practice.

It's such a complicated thing only because you never can know how another person will react or what their thoughts, emotions and history's are. I am a cautious person. Best believe that if I say that I'm in love with someone, that that love has been tested without a doubt.

Who's a flirt? ME?

I don't know if y'all know this, but you will be tested about every bit of knowledge you receive. So I was just remembering how one day I was cleaning and listening to this old Pastor Tamara Bennett tape. Her messages have been right on point for this time in my life. No matter what I hear her preach about it relates to me somehow. Anyway, she happened to interject her message to talk about this kinda friendship she was having with a guy at work. Nothing real big they would just chat it up at work and one day she just said to him,"Thats a nice tie." Seems real simple and innocent right? Well the Holy Spirit asked her,"You gonna get one of those for your husband?" She replied ....No. He said, "Your father? Brother?" .....No. Well then its just idle conversation. Not going anywhere and for no reason. That's what flirting is. And Pastor Bennett said..."Now that just a little too much." And I'm sure I'm paraphrasing but you get the gist.

So then it comes to me and I admit maybe sometimes I tell a little too much about myself on this blog. Reach back a few years and you can learn a lot more. But this is really therapeutic for me and its a point of accountability. Perhaps I can help someone else. Recently, very recently in fact I found myself getting caught up in the flirting game. Caught up I tell you! With someone totally inappropriate. And you know I recognize my growth because I'm catching it before it goes too far. Flirting used to be a fun thing for me to do back in the day. I was a big flirt. You laugh, you touch, you feel appreciated for your wit and talent. But what for? Its all a pointless waste of time.

I now see after talking it over with my accountability partners and I need many, that um this is not a good thing. Like I said previously "Check ME". I don't like straying too far. And the little things turn into big things. I KNOW!

I'm not the type of person that flirts with everyone. In fact some would say I have been out of practice for the past few years. BUT I know how to do it when the opportunity arises. And for me when opportunity knocked, I answered. Contrary to popular belief I am an affectionate person. And this was my chance. For some, this is not a big deal. Y'all may even say I'm making too much out of this. What's the harm in a lil flirting? Everybody does it! This is the problem: I feel like its not really a good witness. How do you look when your flirting? All googly eyed and cheesing. Silly: thats how you look. Can someone take you seriously when you look silly? Idonthinkso. What message do you send? I wanna get closer to you, possibly in private. What if you don't wanna get closer? Waste of time. And you're possibly leading someone else on, leaving room for them to get hurt by your actions or vice-versa. Then I get home, with no one to flirt with and those feelings of loneliness try to creep in when a few months ago I was totally content with my peace and quiet so now I'm searching for someone who is not God to validate me. (long sentence, I know)

And apparently, the Holy Spirit thought it was a big deal bring it up to Pastor Bennett and to me as well. I didn't get the shut down like she did, but it was enough to make me think back to what I was doing. But trust me, I do get shut down.

I mean everyone wants to feel attractive. Even if you know you're attractive having someone pay attention to you just confirms the fact. But when you start to compromise yourself to get that attention, thats a problem. I was watching Tyra the other day and she had several teen girls from ages 13-15 talking about sexting. Sending naked pics of themselves and sending graphic texts to boys. For most of them the reason was well if you don't do it the boys don't pay attention to you. For others it was like well it was something HE wanted and I just gave it to him. They weren't embarrassed, it was normal to them. Its what they DO. Thats just scary to me. These are the lengths young girls are willing to go to receive a compliment! Really?!

So I'm at this point in my life where I've gotten all cleansed and whole from all those other soul ties and what am I doing? Trying to create new ones? So it stops right here. With me. I'm taking responsibility for my actions. And I'll be patient.

Memories

OH blog remember when I used to write almost everyday? Those were the good times.... Well not really, I had some crazy things goin on in my head at that time. Its just good to have record of my craziness. I will commit to writing more often and I know, I know I've said this all before. It's just when I get into the swing of writing, I miss it. But like I said before inspiration has been few and far between. Then with my sister hijacking my computer and inconsistency with internet (which I will fix), when I do get inspired I have no outlet for it.

So maybe I shouldn't make promises....We'll just see what happens.

Check me!

So I got some inspiration. I was just catching up with a friend of mine and I felt the need to confess something that had been bothering me about myself. I noticed a lil bit of the old me trying to creep up. And she tells me oh yeah I noticed that. I was like HELLO! Why didn't you tell me? She said well I didn't wanna embarrass you. And I was like well you shoulda! I would have.

Folks, I check people all the time. All the time! Sometimes people need to feel embarrassed! With that said, I wouldn't dish it out if I couldn't take it. And I kid you not, there's only one person I know that will check me. ONE! She's not here in Tulsa and I honestly still don't know if she would do it in the moment. How can I expect to grow this way?

I can't even tell you why they don't take the time to correct me. Perhaps they feel like I don't take correction well and in that case, thats another thing no one has told me. Or maybe they don't pay attention to others like I do. Hmm. Or maybe they have unrealistic expectations of me. Maybe they don't feel comfortable in general.

But maybe in this situation I had to be the one to own up to it. I'm not totally unaware of my actions. And if I choose to live in oblivion, somebody snap me out of it!! I'm talking about accountability. I'm not afraid of it. I welcome it. And if I'm taking offense, I know they have hit a sensitive area. I just have to say don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. If there's truth there, it will be worth hearing.

In the end, I know if I don't get checked by anyone else, the Holy Spirit will check me. I can always count on Him. If I didn't have that connection, who knows what kinda craziness I would be into. I have a tendency to be a lil complacent sometimes.

Today

I finally got my computer back and I've had so many random thoughts, deep thoughts, thoughts in general that I could have definitely turned into many blogs. But of course as of right now I don't have a real blog. I'm just gonna get my thoughts together and get back to you. I actually just woke up from a nap. This is probably not the best time to be writing, but I figured I should start somewhere.

Oh Internet...

Dag it sucks not to have consistent internet. Soon that will be a thing of the past. As soon as I move into this next apartment, I promise I'll pay for it. Now I feel so far removed from the NY trip I don't feel like I can give an accurate or entertaining account of the events. Long story short, we missed our cheapest routes back to NJ and our hotel and since no one in NY wanted to admit they didn't know where we were going we ended up in Newark about 45 mins from our hotel. I didn't sleep the whole night, RAN to get on the bus back to DC, slept for bout an hour, went the HU/HU game and tried to stay awake through dinner. I think I passed out around 8:30 or 9.

All in all, it definitely was an adventure. It seems lately that when I've gone on these trips I rarely do what I've gone there to do. Sometimes you just roll with the punches.

What happens in NY

So this is really fresh now because I'm on my way back to DC from NY and I just wanted to see what I could get down if anything. I'm still really trying to process and I'm coming off of like 2 and a half hours of sleep. Ya know you gotta be careful about what you say.... because I remember telling a couple people that I may not sleep until I get back to Tulsa. Where to begin? Well at the beginning of course. So here goes.

Tiff and I decided to get an early start on the since we didn't get to see as much as we wanted on Thursday. Interestingly enough I woke up at 6:58 am on the dot and we still didn't really get to the city until about 11am. It was fine though. I had to navigate our route to Katz Deli and we wanted to try to get some shopping in. I'm very proud of myself, getting on and off that train as if I knew exactly where I was going. I hate feeling lost. So we got there ate and that in itself was an experience. My girl Tiff just throws me off sometimes. We used to joke about getting her a blonde track of hair and just swoop it in the front for some of the things she says. So I go to the ATM and as I'm walking back to the table she and the waiter finish the conversation they're having. She looks at me as I'm still walking towards her and says, "Did you hear that?" I looked at the waiter as if to say, 'She can't possibly be serious!' And they both crack up. How in the world was I supposed to hear anything from the back of the restaurant? That was one for the books.

Then after Katz we decide to go to the Soho district to do some shopping. As we walk there's just so many photo ops along the way that we're stopping every 5 mins to take pics. The funny thing about shopping down there was that all we were looking for was an H&M and we found everything but. I found some cute shoes and hat that I didn't get but I took pics of myself in so that I could remember it. While in one store my first roomie Kyhra calls to let me know she's on her way into the city and she wanted to meet at Times Square. So I expect her to get into the city around 3pm. When it gets close to time to meet up with her Tiff and I make our way to the area and search for a bathroom. We dip into Macy's and its like packed. With Fashion Week going on people are shopping like its a holiday. At this point, we decide to take a breather and think our next move. Well by this time its around 4pm so we call Kyhra to see where she is. The plan is to either get on the bus back to our hotel at 5 to get dressed for the fashion show (the whole reason for the trip) and then get back into the city because we didn't know where the Lincoln Center was. But if Kyhra was in the city already she could just give a ride back to the hotel. We met up with her and got aquainted with her friend Marnesha who also happened to be a Hampton Alum. Long story short, we got lost on the way to the hotel and hurried to get dressed, missed the faster bus back to the city and to take the longer, more scenic bus. Kyhra and Marnesha ended up taking the bus back with us so she wouldn't have to find parking in the city. So riding the bus, I'm thinking we're totally not gonna make it. But we still tried. We got on subway in an attempt to make it to the Lincoln center and ended up almost going to the Bronx.

Got great pics btw throughout all this madness. By this time, we gave up on the fashion show and decided to get something to eat. Making our way down 8th ave, Kyhra says I gotta get some Starbucks. So we find one and go in. While she making her order, a very small visibly drunk man comes over to us and says D***are y'all models? Y'all are beautiful!" Then as Kyhra comes to join us he says Oh my goodness CHOCOLATE! Can I take a picture with you? She declines and in these types of moments when we're being harassed by men Tiff avoids eye contact at all costs and she may even disappear all together. So he walks out and Kyhra goes to get her drink, then we walk out. He comes back and with a bewildered look on his face he says, YO is Chocolate your best friend? Chocolate is fine yo!! Needless to say we kinda just had to try and lose him.

So our next objective is to find a bathroom. And if you didn't already to know, its near impossible to find a public restroom in NY. So we see this sexy looking pub. All low lights and mahogany wood inside but busy. So the plan is two of us distract the host with questions while the others run to the bathroom. Lucky for us there happened to be a large party of women walking in at the time we wanted to go in so we just walked in with them as quickly as possible and ran to the bathroom. I don't know if I've ever gotten as many compliments so close together. In the span of like 2 hrs I had been told I was beautiful, elegant and stunning all by different men. What an ego booster!

Next on the agenda: food. We see the famous Gray Papaya I think it is. The had a recession special 2 hot dogs and a drink for $2.45. It was good but clearly just a teaser. So I saw a place called Schnipper's home of the sloppy joe. I got a cheesy joe and yes I was all about it. As we sat there we totally had a Sex in the City moment just talking about marriage and fun stuff like that. Then we decide we wanna go to Serendipity for some of their famous desserts. The fastest way to get there is by cab. To get a cab was a ridiculous amount of bargaining. It didn't take us as long as some other people though. To be in that cab was like nothing I've ever experienced. I'm just glad I'm still here to tell the story because of that ride. In a turn of events the driver apparently didn't hear where we wanted to go and went $10 in the wrong direction. The sucky thing is that we had to pay for his loss in translation. He thought we said 16th when we said 60th. As we're paying for the ride this lady decides that she wants to hurry us out of the cab and opens both the passenger side doors. Well Tiff's mix of MD and NY came out like "She don't know us. She really needs to slow up." And I was like you know I was itching to use my mace homie! Plus I don't think she expected to see 3 tall black women getting out the back of the cab and when we did get out she sure did keep her mouth shut.

We got lost again looking for Serendipity and in the midst of it all I realized that it midnight and the last bus back to Jersey left. So we decided we're here lets go on in. It was really cute on the inside and I had a Cholatcino which I believe really helped me make through the rest of the night.....And that's to be continued in the next post because that's where the adventure really begins!

NY, NY

So after day after one, I have to say I'm a lil underwhelmed at New York. I have yet to be wowed. I mean I feel like I saw a lot, I think its got beautiful architecture, but I dunno. I don't get the hype.


I've had to forgive Tiffani again and again for a bag she packed that almost ended our friendship. I ended up lugging this humongo bag up and down the subway, on and off the bus because of her bad back. Thats love I tell ya. The first adventure of the day was finding out how to get to our hotel. Which we did, tried to relax for a few mins and then got back on the road. I think we actually took the wrong bus back, but we got some good pics out of it.

I think we spent most of the time in Forever21, which is surprising but I got some great boots out of it. And the biggest shocker of the day: I ran into someone I knew from Tulsa! How random and just weird is that? All in all not a disappointment, but it didn't knock me off my feet.

Perhaps tomorrow will have more to offer.

The risk taker

So right now as we speak I'm on a bus on the way to New York. Its my first time so I have no idea what to expect. I've always been one of those rebels who really didn't care about the Big Apple. I didn't really have a desire to see it up close and personal. To tell you the truth seeing it on tv or in the theater was just fine for me. But fashion duty calls and I'm answering.

Funny thing is I was getting my hair done a couple days ago and my cousin who is also my hair stylist says: I think you've been playing it too safe. Do you think you take enough risks? And I'm thinking: What are you trying to say? I'm a sensible person. I like to take into account the pros and cons of a thing before I do it. I used to be the kind of person who would do things on a whim. Some of those things were just plain stupid. Like jumping on some strangers motorcycle just because I wanted to ride one. So for me, this trip to NY, though carefully planned is taking a risk for me.

Plus while getting my hair done I've been goin progressively more red in hair color over time. Well this time I didn't get any blonde in my hair and when she put the red over the blonde I had in my hair, it turned a bright red. There's no blending into a crowd with this hair color. So I guess she decided she would help me out with the risk taking. Trust me, I can rock it but I probably wouldn't have on my own.

So here's to taking some risks. I've got my mace in one hand and my sanitizer in the other. New York here I come!

Btw I really love Tiff's lil mini computer. I'm definitely getting one of these.