one

I had to put on my comfy clothes for this one. Take the contacts out and relax for this here. So I was just having some random thoughts the other night and decided to jot them down. I don't know where this is gonna go so be prepared for anything. I also don't really have a point so if it works out I will be totally surprised. Here goes:

I've never been a popular person per se. I moved around a lot. Not alot of time to get to know people. Connections were short lived. All I've ever needed was one friend. One ryde or die homie. One mic. One confidant. Usually when I moved to a new place. I would be outgoing for a while, find my one person and then shut down again. I've never wanted lots of people to know my name. Although, let's face it they probably should.Now I'm not unpopular in the nerdy, geeky sense of the word. I just don't know alot of people nor do they know me. I don't want people calling or texting me at all times of the day and night asking, "What are you doing? Whats going on tonight? Where the party at?" I don't want to be obligated to too many people. I don't want to have to entertain.

So the ironic thing is that those kind of people seem to gravitate to me. Why? Idk. Because I'm NOT a groupie? I'm available? Who knows? So needless to say: I don't really understand this phenomenon. I know some famous people in real life. They may not have a record deal or a tv show, but people really like to hype them up. I just think its gotta be exhausting ya know?

Which is probably all of these stars begin to fall apart at some point. I think we all need to be able to hear our own voices. Get to a quiet place and hear God. And I'm not saying that the way I keep people at a distance is right or healthy. And I'm not saying that its not. But at times it sure is helpful. I can entertain myself. I enjoy me.

Some people simply have an attractive personality. And for some reason they usually don't mind having people around. We need these kind of people in the world. They're called influencers. The problem usually comes when they influence people in the wrong direction. Take Hitler for instance. Bad influence leading to genocide.

College and work have made me step outside of my boundaries. I've become more outspoken, but at the heart I'm still loner.