Wait a minute....

Something awesome that turned into something hilarious turned into something that had me in deep thought. In the office where I worked they have season tickets to the OKC Thunder games. I always thought this was really cool because I am a basketball fan, but I began there as a temp and I didn't want to overstep my boundaries by asking for any tickets. By the time I actually became a permanent employee all the tickets had been scooped up.

One day I get a call on my desk phone from one of my co-workers I joke around with occasionally asking if I wanted to join him, his girlfriend and another co-worker for a game because their 4th had dropped out. I was like yeah! I didn't think about the hour and a half ride down to OK City or even about kicking it with people I'd never hung out with outside of work. At the end of our call he says, "Don't worry, Steve is gonna pay for everything." And I'm thinking yeah right whatever.

Now the ride was fine. Everyone was trying to make the most of what little we had to talk about on the way. I  didn't feel pressured to make conversation, but I felt I should at least try to contribute.

What could I bring up that's in pop culture?

"Have you guys seen the ratchet girl anthem?" followed by me trying to explain with examples ending up looking like a stereotypical black chick.

Nope.

"Hey so did y'all see Whitney's funeral? What did you think?"

Nope. Um...

So I didn't say any of that stuff. But I tried to at least comment on things they were talking about.

OH did I forget to mention that I am the only black person in the car? A fact that I am increasingly becoming more aware of.

Then we get to the game and I try to forget that I look like the token black person in a group of non-blacks. The game was freaking awesome by the way as were our seats. I was just happy to be there. And I was having fun with Steve. Then when we decided to grab a bite to eat and I pulled out my wallet to pay and Steve said, "Oh, I got it." I felt a shift. Is this....a date?

Did I get bamboozled into a date? I think I did!

Walking back to the car after the game our other co-worker says, "Dude! Get her door!" More date like behavior. And guys even though I realized that this may have been a date I was still in Hanging with the Co Workers mode. And I was knocked out the entire way home.

As I got dropped off to my car, Steve hurried to get my door on his own this time and I said, "Well thanks for inviting me guys. That was so much fun. See you in the morning." Steve kinda hesitated like he didn't know whether to hug me or get my car door or what. It was weird.

So the next day my suspicions were confirmed by my supervisor when I said, "I kinda feel like it was a double date." She said,"Oh it was. You just didn't know about it." Excuse me?! Ok, just shake it off. It's fine.

And while I did have fun I think the game was a huge factor in it all. I was on cloud nine y'all! Even though I've always said I'm an equal opportunity dater, I've never really hung out with many other races like that. So as for dating, I've just never had that experience. But throughout the night I felt like I was almost holding back my true self. Which is a total no no. I can't live my life like that!

I mean, I'm in no way the most around the way girl if you know what I'm saying. However, I love black culture. I graduated from an HBCU. My high school was almost like a mini HBCU. I don't have ANY close white friends. Yet I love all people and am open to new things. I just feel that I have to be completely comfortable with a person who I am letting into my personal space. That cultural barrier is one that is just ONE MORE hill to get over on top of all the male - female stuff you gotta break down.

So I'm just wondering how is that these kind of relationships work? Could it be that this is just not for me?