Imperfection

I found these new lil smileys and I like them!

Task for today: find that hood thingy that goes with my cap and gown so I can actually walk at graduation and my family doesn't come down here for no reason.


It's funny who you get intimidated by. Or how other peoples' imperfections makes you feel better about yourself. How you become accustomed to your looks. Where confidence comes from. It has taken me years to build self confidence. For some reason when I was younger my sister loved to hate on me. She outright made me feel ugly. And maybe I was, I dunno. If I wasn't, I felt like I was. It all made a big impact on how I went about things. Maybe if I was more confident I wouldn't have been as quiet in public as I was.

I still have my struggles. Have you seen my friends? They are beautiful! When we go out, I do get passed up. But can I blame them? Hecks no! My friends are off the hook! DIMES! SILVA DOLLAS!

But just the same to make it from day to day, I have to find something about myself that is beautiful. And don't get me wrong, I think I'm cute. I have wonderful features. But I've never thought of myself as beautiful. In high school, I was off the chain cute! But I never knew it until I look back at pictures and wow. I just never realized the power of clear skin and being free of male problems. I didn't really have any pimples or male problems until I got to college. Isn't that backwards?

People tell me that they think I'm beautiful, but it doesn't matter if everyone in the world is telling you you're the bomb if you don't believe it. The mind is a powerful thing. That's one reason I don't take compliments well. I don't believe them.

College has been one big coming out party for me. I'm not shy anymore. There's no reason to be. Not quiet anymore. I'm starting to speak out more, even though there are some things I have a hard time saying. I'm still reserved about most things. I'm not the go buck wild type of gal. My parents are very laid back so I had no reason to rebel as a teen. My best friend said she's beginning not to recognize me. I don't think that's a compliment.......

But back to the subject at hand(thats my new fav phrase). Of course my looks will change, they are forever changing. I just have to get used to them as I grow and appreciate what God has given me.