He's just not that into you

For SRT week I hosted a discussion about the book He's Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Guide to Understanding Men by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo. The gist of the book is that if a man is not calling you or if he doesn't ask for your number then he's just not that into you. The authors say that if women want to know why they are not in a committed relationship its because they are too aggressive or they just aren't seeing the signs. Basically how to tell if you are in a dead-end relationship. In a nutshell he's saying 'Chill ladies, let the man come to you. And if he doesn't he's just not that into you and therefore not worth your time.'

I feel what he is saying, but at the same time I'm conflicted because that means I have to sit on my hands and wait for a guy. What if I see one I like? Shouldn't I have the right to go up to him? But this guy says if I do, he won't respect me..... So I have no choice, if I want a quality man, but to wait for him to find me. I don't like having my choices taken away from me.

At the same time it made me look at some of my interactions with males and evaluate. The book says he's just not that into you if :

• He's not calling you.
• He's too insanely busy to pick up the phone.
• He doesn't like the words 'relationship' or 'boyfriend'.
• He doesn't take you out.

So think about this.....He's giving you all the signs but you're so caught up you don't want to see them. So you start making excuses for him. Oh....He's afraid to get hurt again. Maybe he's intimidated by me. He just got out of a relationship. These guys says that is never the case. He just doesn't like you! If he did, none of that stuff would matter because he would get past that just to be with you.

We decided to ask some males about this book. Is it accurate? Are we playing ourselves? What about when he says things like .......? The guys answered our questions as well as they could, but of course they could only answer based on their experiences. Some of the ladies got our feelings hurt as we thought about our situations. But I also noticed that all of our perceptions of the opposite sex have been severely adjusted because of the people we have encountered.

On a side note: I could see myself being a talk show host. It was sooo fun mediating that discussion and posing questions to group while being impartial. I loved it.

So fellas, I'd like to pose the question to you. Is this book telling the truth? Some guys say thats not always the case, but most say the book is dead on. Wouldn't it save a whole bunch of time if we knew to just leave the man alone and not wonder why why why? So just tell us fellas if you just not that into us. It might hurt at first, but we will appreciate the lack of drama that is sure to come if we continue to worry if you will ever call. It will also save you the trouble of having to get your tires replaced after some woman slashes them cus you strung her along for years and you just weren't that into her but you wanted her around cus you knew she would be there but at the same time you had another woman who you really were into but you were waiting on her to come around........END IT ALREADY!