Masochist

I am a masochist
Loving to be hurt, continuing the cycle of pain
you let me go and I run back for more
almost made me believe I was insane
manipulated me and twisted my words to the point
that I didn't even know what I was saying
Bared my soul and told you how I feel
and I was left frostbitten
You absorbed it all and gave nothing
but you took all I would give
and I would give it all
I have to be a masochist
asking for the pain
knowing the risk, I give you permission to do this
praying you would see I love you more than I hurt
No one understood why I kept running back
I wasn't able to define it until now
You're able to do what I can't
Made me someone I wanted to be
When it's you and me
I'm secure, wanted, beautiful
I laugh from my belly. I am happy
Without you, I am not. Not for long
You have no idea what I would not do for you
Then I became someone no one knew
not even me
I know why now
Living a lie was better than nothing at all
From here on I want truth
no longer living in the dark
But I want you to come with me
I will be the woman I claimed to be
You be the man I know you can be
I wanted truth but wasn't giving truth
You do reap what you sow
There is my epiphany
So if we were able to begin sowing truth
would we be able to reap truth?
Would that be a new beginning?
Could we begin again?
again, again, again
I ask for the pain
But without the pain I would not know joy
again, again, again
I ask for your love