You can't win and you can't get out of the game

So. I went to my father's 47th birthday party. Didn't wanna be there in the first place but you could see the happiness in his eyes once I got there. It was disgusting. His outfit woulda been almost tasteful if it had not been for all the ghetto gold he had on.

My sister and her friends had been there for awhile. I'd asked Milyaka's roomate and now my friend Sarah to give me a ride there since she was going that way for one reason. If I had to be alone with my father for more than 15 mins I would have been forced to go off on him. At least I was thoughtful enough not to ruin his party....

Boy was this club a hole in the wall. And they played some of the worst music I've ever heard in my life. It was just ridiculous! Just to give u a taste of the lyrics one of the songs said, "You ain't the only one I'm giving some". Then there was a version of Twist and Shout that went something like this, "Come on homies, grab your shorty and do it like this." I think I heard Johnny Taylors' Down Home Blues more than I've ever wanted to. But when they played Marvin Gayes' Distant Lover, oh boy was I in heaven.

I love to watch people, especially at clubs and stuff. Oooh this one dude had to be at least 60 got out the dance floor and started doing these James Brown moves. Best part of the night!

This guy told me his name was "Uncle Danny" then proceeded to molest my sister while asking her to dance. Did he not realize if he was my "uncle" he was hers too? Then my dad seeing that everyone had danced but me asked me to dance with him even though I had turned him down numerous times before. This is the kicker, he asked me to dance to "Bump and Grind"! I looked at him in disbelief and said, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Then I turned to my sister's friend and said,"Did my FATHER just ask me to dance to BUMP AND GRIND? Is he trying to screw me up for LIFE?!!" I'll give him this benefit, he probably just wanted to two-step or something but that is way beyond traumitizing.

Then they had the nerve to have an after-party! At another club which was actually a house someone had turned into a club. A skinny old guy from the party said, "Who's house IS this?"

My father threw me off for a second. He asked me if I had any money in my pocket. I thought he was about to ask me for some money. I'm like, NO, which was also true. My father actually gave me 20 bucks which I took because who knows when he'll give me any other money?

The deal breaker came when he was talking to my sister's friends about his upcoming wedding. I'm glad he wasn't talking to me because that woulda sent me over the edge. I had to ask them to repeat that for me. I'm not going to that crap! This is 3rd wedding! Better chalk it up and go to the justice of the peace!

Now I had to wash my hair because it smelled like a chimney. He coulda kept that. I'm not glad I went.