The opposite of love is selfishness

The more I am in OK, the more I see the reason I was meant to be here. The first week, I was sulking, the second week I was numb now comes acceptance. I'm glad to be down here with some people my own age who are also seeking God. I realize I had to get away from some influences in VA. Not that my friends aren't great. God knows I love my friends. I just tend to want to do things I shouldn't when I am with them. Before I left VA I did some things that were definitely not Godly. And to be totally honest I don't really regret them, but I know that I am ten times happier and better off when I am in God's will. And in no way is it my friends' fault when I sin because it is a decision. You make a choice to sin. God gives us free will to decide whether we want to be His or the enemy's. I've made the wrong choice plenty of times.

This was brought to my attention because I attended the Bible study led by my best friend and it really just feels good to talk about the Word. I've known for years now that the place I am most happy is in the Church. For years I have chosen to do what I want to do and not always what I should do. I just hope that when God has spoken to people through me that those messages have not been lost because of things I have done. I remember speaking some real truth to people and those things are still true, but because they have seen me sin that may have been lost.

In no way do I claim to be perfect. And sometimes I don't even try to do right. But I know that I am supposed to be a powerful woman of God and the Devil has put people in my way to deter me from my destiny. I am still growing and Christ and I have to learn to make the right decisions. I also now understand its so much harder when there is no one to back you up or encourage you.

And although it gets harder to believe God forgives me everytime, its even harder for me to forgive myself. But I take all responsibility for my actions and I know its all apart of my testimony in the end.