ok so..

This conversation has come up twice in the past couple days and I didn't start it, but I'd like to comment. How do even begin?

Clearly, I'm single. And for everyone one that means something different. For some people that means that you are simply not married. But I am also saved. Which means that I have a relationship with Christ and I look to Him for guidance on everything. So people wanna say theres rules. Fine call em rules. But what I've come to learn is that they're not just rules, they're safety precautions.

So because I am a single follower of Christ, I am celibate. This also seems to mean different things to people. I'll clarify. No form of sex or anything involving the word sex. No pornography or masturbation. Not humping, rubbing or squeezing. I'm jus saying.

Well you might ask, how do you live?!! Since I have known what its like to have been involved with someone and then NOT be involved with anyone. I had a major withdrawal period. And just like any addiction, there are steps to being free of its allure. For me, it started with being open to letting it go. Being filled with the Holy Spirit was a huge factor. Then began my education about what sex meant spiritually.

What I have learned is that sex is so awesome, wonderful, fabulous because its meant to connect you to a person FOREVER! The chemicals released during sex ensure this. It's the way God designed it. That's only awesome when you WANT to be connected to that person forever. Some of y'all can't rid of some people because of this bond you created. Which is why its protected within the boundaries of marriage. If there's no guideline for sex then you have people having sex at the wrong age, time, places (i.e. elementary school).

Sex is meant for intimacy with another PERSON. It connects your spirits. So what happens if no one is there? What are you connecting to? I read Juanita Bynum's No more Sheets and she explains that when you orgasm, it opens up the spiritual realm to the point where all the spirits present are transferred. And if you're there alone its open for demonic spirits. This all depends if you believe in demons or not. It doesn't really matter if you do or not. They sure hope you don't. At any rate, when its all over you're still ALONE. I just think thats worse. What was the point? Its like scratching an itch. And when you're done, the itch is just more irritated than if you had left it alone.

This also explains when you have sex with someone and you find yourself doing things they do. Habits they have are now yours. That's the transfer of those spirits. Why are break ups so much harder if you've had sex with someone? You've connected your spirit with them. Also known as soul ties.

So when I experienced the separation and how extremely painful it was for me. It was a wake up call that honestly took several years. But again that's not everyone's experience. After doing something for so long that you become numb to the warnings and the effects. So the pain is not as noticeable. But its still there.

So I pray for my friends that still think its fine to have toys, "friends", watch porn because I know of the inevitable pain that will follow. If its not heartache, its depression or addiction or deception or torment. However, I know there's an alternative. I've been living it. I'm not going to say its easy although in some ways it definitely is. I found major security in knowing my worth and I've been saved from the pain of connecting myself to someone who only planned to be in my life temporarily. But I know that when I do, that my not being involved with others will help us have a stronger bond. Very much looking forward to that.