Really now?

A couple days ago I read an article clearly written by someone who was hurt by and bitter against the church. It was entitled How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely. There were so many things in that article that were against the Word that it makes my head spin, mostly due to the fact that this woman is not a Christian. That makes me wonder why wrote the article at all. There are standards that we live by and they are biblical.

So I guess you can call this my critique of the article. First of all, if you are attending a church and finding a husband there is one of your top reasons for going you’re on the wrong track. You go to church for instruction, motivation, alignment, fellowship and most importantly worship. Church is not a dating service. I’m sure many people have met their mates at church because, well there’s a common interest there. Why not? It’s just like someone who meets someone at work or the gym. Common interest. Whereas you may not necessarily go there looking for someone, you may just end up meeting them there. Secondly, I do believe that if that is your reason for going to a church then yes you will end up depressed because you’re missing the point. That’s like eating an apple and expecting it to taste like a banana. You will definitely be disappointed.

I believe this is the reason Paul said I would rather you were able to be single like me because your interests are divided. People get so distracted trying to catch someone they’re not able to do the work of the kingdom. That’s why people don’t care about the world that is dying and hungry. Too busy trying to look for someone to ‘complete’ them. God is the complete you. Your husband or wife is not the missing link. They are an added bonus. Talk to a married couple and let them tell you. You can still feel lonely with someone lying next to you.

Finally, I’m getting to the last straw of people trying to figure out why there are so many unmarried Black women. If its not our fault it’s the Black man’s fault or the church’s fault or White women’s fault. I really don’t care who’s fault it is. When it comes down to it all I can do is be who I am supposed be. What I care about is if my life is pleasing to God. And I stand on the Word that says God knows the desires of my heart and if I continue to be diligent that I will receive those things and more.