Ready or Not

I had an amazing experience with the Lord last night. Amazing because I hadn't felt that way in a long time. This week I have been going to prayer at my church mainly because its been available. I missed Tuesday simply because I found a big sticky stain on my shirt as I was about to get out of my car. Irrelevant maybe, but nonetheless it happened to be the end of a chaotic day anyway.

So, I got to prayer with a mission. I had to experience the presence of God. But I didn't wanna get all emotional, crying and snotting. I wanted to this very controlled and lady like. I sat there for an hour and nothing really happened. Nothing I could think of. And I felt like I was really trying to get there too. Maybe not really.

Anyway, church begins and my pastor forewarns us if we do want to experience a change, we might wanna leave the church. He goes through the message, a powerful one, then begins to pray. Oh he definitely was hearing from God. I was really trying not to be distracted, but I saw one of my friends that I'd been praying for go to the altar. Praise God! But there was some work to be done in me. I felt the power of God so strong. I had such a need to be delivered. I cried out for deliverance. I saw my other friend I'd been praying for go to the altar. Praise God. And He wasn't done with me yet. I was bent down so far I was crying UP. Even after the pastor said you are dismissed, there were still people worshiping at the altar including me. I went to hug my friend and after that went back to praising. If only we could have spent the night there.

Its so crazy that at church you can still feel the judgment so strong. People think they know whats going on because there's so much gossip. I know that people must have thought that my actions were for my friends. While I am grateful to God that they came to the altar, I'd been waiting all week to experience that level with God. I came to the realization earlier that day that just like He has a relationship with me, He has one with each of them. Though I pray for them, its not about what I do. I love them either way and so does He.

I also know that after you experience that level of worship, its hard to go home and change everything about what you'd been doing. Although you have begun a change in you, everything around you is the same. I think thats why so many people wanted to stay there. It's so much easier.

God is so worth it. I wish I could explain further. You have to know Him for yourself. I have a friend who is afraid to get close to God because he feels it means more pain in his life. We must love ourselves, but love Christ more. Thats hard for us because so long we've been fed to forget about HIM. This world is so screwed up. I think what he's looking for is a demonstration of God's power. And that is the beginning of another entry, but the end of this one.