The first time I felt like I was in love was freshman year of college. I met a guy. He was pretty cool. Funny, handsome, had some of that sarcasm I liked. Plus, he really had to get my attention. I was interested in a couple other guys at the time. Yes, it is all about the chase.
This was the kicker. I used to and still do from time to time have these gut wrenching, bawling over, make you wanna slap EVERYBODY type cramps. When I would see him or talk to him on the phone, all the pain would go away. Just like that. So I thought this just has to be love.
Of course I got played and my heart was shattered. But that was my first feelings of love. I think we only ever kissed once.
Yeah the second guy of college was all physical passion. Making out, cuddling and affection. Very little words were spoken at all. I can probably count the conversations we had on the phone one hand.
It lasted two years.....I liked him and I told him that. I just didn't know what else to say. We kinda faded out, but remained friends. Just friends. Only made out once after that.
The third guy.....with him it was like being roughly shaken from a deep sleep. It's startling, kinda makes you mad, but you wanna see what all the fuss is about. What's gonna happen next. There was emotional passion, physical passion, long conversations about nothing and everything, but no spiritual growth. God was not the center there or in any of them.
I think of these three most often. What I did, what I let happen, what I should have done. I didn't go looking for them. They found me. I won't go looking again, but I'll be better about my filtering process.
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